Finding Great FriendsExemplo

Whether we like it or not, God made us for relationship: with Him and with each other. If you’ve been hurt by others, feel let down by God, or are introverted and shy, you probably don’t like that God expects us to broaden our friendships outside the front doors of our comfort zones. That’s okay. I didn’t much like it either when I started figuring it out.

Most people these days tend toward self-sufficiency, and we like to reinforce that with pop psychology. 

Pull yourself up by your bootstraps.

Put on your big-girl panties.

God helps those who help themselves.

Common mantras, but is that really what the Bible teaches? 

One of the passages of Scripture people will go to to prove friends are necessary is Ecclesiastes 4:9–10, and it promotes working together. 

Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up.

Those are great verses, but let’s not check our brains at the door. First, how does the sentiment in that passage of Scripture hit you? Several people come to my mind that make this delightful. I could list off many sisters in Christ that I would love to spend the day with, even if it meant we had to work through it doing a chore I don’t necessarily enjoy. The best of friends make the worst of jobs not so bad.

But a couple of others come to mind that aren’t as pleasant to think about. In fact, I fear the day would drag on interminably or I may not be able to control my temper after just one or two hours. I know. That’s not a very Christian attitude, but it is honest. And truthfully, some people in this world are better avoided.

This showcases how dangerous it is to take one verse out of the Bible and create an entire theology out of it. The rest of the Bible has some wonderful advice we should heed when it comes to friends. And these other verses God gave us balance Ecclesiastes 4:9–10 with wisdom. Consider 1 Corinthians 15:33 that says, “Do not be misled: ‘Bad company corrupts good character.’” 

God wants us to be wise in our relationships. The problem is that most of us were never taught how to do that. I remember times when I was growing up that adults would tell me to choose my friends wisely. Past avoiding the kid who was always in trouble, how exactly do you do that? Just because a person looks good in the moment doesn’t mean that they will truly be a good friend. Some people act well, and some of us are rotten at seeing through the act.