Beyond the Battle, Finding Identity in Christ in an Oversexualized WorldExemplo

I have read Jesus’ parable of the unmerciful servant countless times. In this story, Jesus tells of a servant who owes his king 200,000 years’ worth of wages, a cartoonish amount the servant obviously never will be able to repay. The servant begs the king to forgive his astronomical debt, and the king mercifully agrees. The man is free to go. Pardoned.

On his way out, the man runs into a fellow servant who owes him around a hundred days’ wages. While not a small amount, it is nowhere near the size of the debt he has just been forgiven. Shockingly, the just-forgiven servant chokes his peer and demands that he repays him. When the second servant asks for patience, the wicked servant refuses to show mercy. Instead, he has the man thrown into prison until he can pay him back.

When the king finds out what the unmerciful servant has done, he summons him and says, “Shouldn’t you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?” Angry, he hands the servant over to the jailers to be tortured until he can repay all he owes.

What recently hit me with sobering awareness is how this passage demanded that I forgive my wife. By forgive, I mean love her continually and stop holding countless grudges of entitlement against her, grudges that quickly send my brain spinning into fantasy land’s enslavement. 

While I don’t think it’s possible to overemphasize God’s grace toward us, I do think it’s possible to cheapen it (Dietrich Bonhoeffer). We cheapen his grace when we deemphasize his holiness and justice, when we tell ourselves we don’t really need to fear God.

By fear, I mean the biblical fear of God referenced hundreds of times throughout Scripture. Fear is the natural feeling a sinful being has in the presence of a holy God. It is knowing we have incurred an unpayable debt that must be paid. It is awe, reverence, and humility taken to their utmost degree.

Modern Christians need major reposturing as sinners before a holy God. We’ve been conditioned to think that grace is cheap and that we aren’t so bad on our own. This mindset is as unbiblical as it gets, and it has devastating effects on our ability to allow God’s grace to transform us.

If we don’t grasp God’s justice and holiness and how far apart from him we truly are, we’ll never be able to enjoy the depths of his grace.

Don’t focus on the hundred days of wages your spouse owes you. Focus solely on the debt that you’ve been forgiven of. Never take your eyes off it, and you will be changed forever. Never stop being in wonder of God’s forgiveness. Never stop being overwhelmed by it. Never stop it from making you jump and dance and sing and shout for joy. Never forget you don’t deserve forgiveness and never will, but you have been forgiven and are now a new creation, resurrected to new life in Christ. Let this fact topple over any and every debt your spouse—or anyone else—might ever owe you.

Questions for Married People:

1. Why do you think Jesus tells us that if we don’t forgive our spouses, he will not forgive us? (Note: forgiving does not mean accepting abusive behavior)

2. What is preventing you from fully applying this passage to your marriage and life? Are there any excuses you normally use to dismiss the potency of Jesus’ point?

3. How do you need to reposture yourself before God? How will reposturing allow you to forgive and love in new ways?

4. How can you keep an active memory throughout your day of how much Jesus has forgiven you?

5. How does living as a new creation, resurrected to new life in Christ, allow you to walk confidently before God in the love and freedom of Christ?

Questions for Singles: 

1. In Matthew 18, Jesus obviously isn’t referring exclusively to the need for us to forgive our spouses. He wants us to forgive everyone in our lives. Is there anyone you need to forgive? 

2. How does this passage help you prepare for a future marriage?

3. How do you need to reposture yourself before God? How will reposturing allow you to forgive and love in new ways?

4. How does living as a new creation, resurrected to new life in Christ, allow you to walk confidently before God in the love and freedom of Christ?

Prayer for the Day: Lord, allow me to feel the weight of the incalculable debt I owe to you. Then allow me to feel the immeasurable forgiveness you pour out on me as you make me a new creation. Allow me to feel the release and relief this forgiveness brings. Reposture me before you, Almighty God. Put me flat on my face so I can fully appreciate the wholeness you have given me. May I pour out mercy and grace to those around me because you have poured them out to me. Thank you, God!