Becoming a Leader

The apostle Paul modeled the heart behind successful discipleship when he wrote to the church of Thessalonica. He began by telling the church, “For our appeal does not spring from error or impurity or any attempt to deceive, but just as we have been approved by God to be entrusted with the gospel, so we speak, not to please man, but to please God who tests our hearts” (1 Thessalonians 2:3–4).

Notice that Paul intentionally appealed to them. He shared a compelling vision of what life could be like as a follower of Christ. He told them about a life full of joy, a life of peace with God, a life brimming with hope, power, and purpose. If you are going to make disciples, it begins with an appeal. Look for those who already display a hunger for God and are eager to grow. Don’t ever drag someone into discipleship—it will never work! Find someone who is spiritually hungry, and appeal to him or her that life can be different.

After Paul appealed to the Thessalonians with a greater vision, he immediately dealt with motive. He bared his heart before them, telling the church plainly that he had no intention to manipulate or deceive. He emphasized the fact that he was not a man-pleaser.

“But just as we have been approved by God to be entrusted with the gospel, so we speak, not to please man, but to please God who tests our hearts. For we never came with words of flattery, as you know, nor with a pretext for greed—God is witness” (1 Thessalonians 2:4–5).

Impure motives will sabotage the discipleship process. If you care more about people liking you than you do honoring God, you can never make disciples. Paul lived to please God, which purified his motives. He didn’t take advantage of people or push his agenda on them. His only motive was to help them grow—not hit a quota or feel important.

“Nor did we seek glory from people, whether from you or from others, though we could have made demands as apostles of Christ” (1 Thessalonians 2:6). Once Paul had appealed to these Christians with vision and demonstrated a pure motive, he modeled an attitude of deep humility.

Discipleship can never be tainted with a controlling, domineering spirit. In fact, the word disciple literally means “learner,” and it’s from this attitude that the leader must lead. Leadership in God’s kingdom is not about telling other people what to do. It’s about serving others for their joy.

“But we were gentle among you, like a nursing mother taking care of her own children” (1 Thessalonians 2:7). As an expert disciple-maker, Paul was casting vision, clarifying motive, and taking a humble posture, but then he quickly introduced family language.

The point Paul was trying to make is that discipleship works only through the framework of family. A family sticks together through the good and the bad. A family loves, even when you’re a little crazy. A family forgives often and learns from one another. No one is above admitting that they are wrong. This is the heartbeat of healthy discipleship.

“So, being affectionately desirous of you, we were ready to share with you not only the gospel of God but also our own selves, because you had become very dear to us” (1 Thessalonians 2:8). This is my favorite part of the entire passage. It’s so honest and compelling. Paul told his disciples that his commitment to them went far beyond communicating a message. His commitment was dangerous. He was risking his heart because he had given his disciples his very self.

You simply can’t make disciples without putting your heart on the line, because discipleship is not just passing along helpful lessons. In order to effectively make disciples, you have to let yourself care, which means becoming vulnerable.

“For you remember, brothers, our labor and toil: we worked night and day, that we might not be a burden to any of you, while we proclaimed to you the gospel of God. You are witnesses, and God also, how holy and righteous and blameless was our conduct toward you believers” (1 Thessalonians 2:9–10).

Paul didn’t just teach these people; he also worked himself into a sweat, and he let them see it. He lived in a holy way when it looked like no one was watching. If you got close to Paul, you wouldn’t find a cheap facade full of good slogans but little substance. You would see a man who lived what he believed.

“For you know how, like a father with his children, we exhorted each one of you and encouraged you and charged you to walk in a manner worthy of God, who calls you into his own kingdom and glory” (1 Thessalonians 2:11–12). Paul was always encouraging, and he always believed the best in his disciples, but that didn’t stop him from challenging them. His discipleship had teeth. He dealt with tough issues head-on. He charged them to walk in a manner worthy of God. He created a sense of accountability.

This passage of Scripture is a beautiful picture of healthy discipleship. Paul ended with this thought: “For what is our hope or joy or crown of boasting before our Lord Jesus at his coming? Is it not you? For you are our glory and joy” (1 Thessalonians 2:19–20).

Paul told us that there is no joy quite like the joy of seeing someone you’ve invested in really grow. Making disciples is an invitation into a whole different level of living, because your highest joy in life is found in the growth of another.