The Burden of Better: Living a Comparison-Free LifeExemplo

So how do you shine the light on comparison and make her go away? This is a hot topic for Internet memes. Maybe you’ve seen them. One popular picture quote is attributed to Steven Furtick: “The reason we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our behind-the-scenes with everyone else’s highlight reel.” That’s a fine statement. There’s some truth to it. Often, we do compare their sparkle to our shambles. In this Facebook age, our friend’s perfect family picture pops up on the day we didn’t have time to shower or get the kids out of their pajamas. We fight with our spouse, then get on Instagram and see a friend’s “so romantic” date night. But here’s my problem with this as a proposed remedy for comparison: What if my ugly really is uglier than yours?

• What if their marriage fight is over toothpaste and yours over infidelity?

• What if their parenting problems are too many video games while yours involve serious rebellion?

• What if she battles the scale for ten pounds while you’re fighting to lose a hundred?

I wonder if this quote instructs us to compare our worst with someone else’s worst instead of quitting comparison altogether.

How do we stop comparing when we really are struggling? Pretty platitudes can’t answer this question.

Instead of defeating the beast, pithy quotes only put comparison on a leash to keep it from running wild. If we treat comparison as a pet to be tamed instead of a pest to be eliminated, we sidestep real spiritual issues that need attention.

When our hearts wonder, “Is it really okay that I’m not like her?” the only genuinely satisfying answers come from the Bible. Comparison isn’t an external issue focused on who we are or the abundance of our possessions. Comparison’s quest for better is an issue of the heart. When we search scripture, we can find out the truth of who we were created to be and how much God loves us, just as we are.