When You Pray: A Study on Prayer From Kelly Minter, Jackie Hill Perry, Jen Wilkin, Jennifer Rothschild, Jada Edwards, and Kristi McLellandExemplo

The Anatomy of Lament

By Jennifer Rothschild

I used to think it was stoic and strong to keep my feelings to myself and just cry silent tears alone.

But that’s not the example of Scripture. David showed us it’s biblical to cry out loud, and this is an example we see repeated throughout Scripture. Crying out to God is the way you worship through prayers of lament. So, let’s figure out the framework of lament God set up for us.

All psalms of lament, whether individual or communal, express loss and longing, trials and trust. While every lament in Scripture is unique, they all follow a general pattern.

Let’s summarize the five elements of lament psalms. Lament is an important stepping stone on your path of healing. These are not in the exact order of Psalm 3, but you’ll see why.

1. Address God. (Focus your prayer on the One who hears and answers.)

2. Pour out your heart. (Bring Him your complaints and concerns.)

3. Request help. (Ask God for what you need.)

4. Express trust. (Affirm your faith in His character and His Word.)

5. Praise Him. (Worship Him because He is worthy.)

Helpfully, this list forms the acronym APREP. I like to think it’s “a prep” so I’m prepared when sorrow or stress show up.

As you study and pray psalms of lament, you’ll find those elements in each one, even if the order varies. Sometimes the person who laments expresses trust in God and then requests help; sometimes he calls for help and then expresses trust. The people who prayed those prayers of lament are like you and me, and ultimately they are like Jesus. Scripture tells us Jesus prayed through tears at least twice—in the garden of Gethsemane (Matt. 26; Heb. 5:7) and over the death of Lazarus (John 11:35)—and agonized over Jerusalem (Luke 19:41-44). What an example for us.

Our prayers are often disordered, messy, and vulnerable. That’s why God so graciously gave us a path and pattern for our messy emotions to travel in prayer. Letting your tears travel the path of lament will draw you closer to God.

The reasons you may hesitate to lament can be confusing or complicated. For me, I feared crying out loud was just too messy. I didn’t want to complain, be ungrateful, or seem weak. And I didn’t want to bother God with my problems.

I thought I was being protective of God. But to be honest, I was being protective of myself. I didn’t want to feel all sorts of messy emotions I couldn’t fix.

It’s OK to feel something you can’t fix. Lament offers you a safe place to process that pain.

When You Pray Today

Read Psalm 3 and then think of a time when your sorrow was so great that you felt it in your throat, and your stress was so palpable that it tightened your chest and rushed your heartbeat. This could have been a personal situation or a communal, national, or world situation that you lament.

Use the pattern of lament to create your own prayer with that memory in mind. (Remember APREP.)