You are Weak!

For a third time in John 13, the subject of Judas’s betrayal appears in the narrative. Sometimes I wonder why Jesus had to raise the subject of his betrayal 3 times! Isn’t it sufficient to say it once, especially when the topic is so sensitive? He was literally calling one of them out! May I suggest to you that everything that Jesus does is intentional. To explore this possibility further, I would like to draw your attention to another conversation that happened that night between Peter and Jesus. It was not recorded in the Gospel of John, but Matthew’s narrative included that conversation.

We have seen that Jesus identifies his betrayer to be Judas. But isn’t it interesting that He goes on to tell His disciples that all of them will forsake Him? Not only that, Peter will be the only one who will deny Him. Imagine the disappointment in Peter and the rest of the disciples when Jesus revealed this to them. Naturally, they would be defensive. This culminates in Peter’s statement: “Even if all fall away on account of You, I never will.” (Matthew 26:33) But we all know what happened after that - they all left Jesus. And Peter became the only one who denied Christ. The one who swore that he would never deny Christ did so anyway. Not once, but 3 times. How did the disciples end up in this situation?

One of the greatest problems for many Christians is this - we underestimate the power of our flesh. Sometimes we forget why we need saving. We forget that deep down in our hearts, there is pride, disloyalty, ungodly fear, and even selfishness. Although we have been taught that we are overcomers, we must never discount the power of our flesh. That is why Jesus has to return and give us a new heart because the one we currently have is deceitful and can lead us towards self-deception. Peter, with all his good intentions, never intended to deny Christ but did so because his flesh took over. When we are overconfident in ourselves, we move away from humility - the acknowledgement that we are weak and need supernatural help from God to rescue us from ourselves.

I have been preaching God’s Word since 2007. Many times, I would encourage church members to have a victor’s mentality or to denounce the fear within ourselves when we are pressured…. because we are overcomers through Christ who gives us strength! But, I have found that this is easier said than done. Nothing would prepare me for what I was about to go through in 2012 when I was diagnosed with Anxiety Disorder. My dysfunctional body took over. My body would react in fear whenever it interprets something as a threat. I would hyperventilate, have chest pains, heart palpitations, and sweat uncontrollably. I would also start to be immobilised and turn white from the fear of not understanding what was happening to me. I struggled to do the things I would normally do - like getting into a car, exercising, going on stage to preach, or taking a plane. Panic attacks would hit me like a bullet train each time.

During these moments, I tried to be strong. I told myself, “I am an overcomer! I rebuke this sickness! I cast you out! God is for me and not against me!”. Months went by, and the condition did not leave me. Instead, it got slightly worse. I began to be angry with God - why aren’t You doing anything? Why are You not taking care of Your child here, who has served You all these years? What is the point of having faith when it has not changed my situation one bit? In fact, at one point, I wasn’t even sure if I could hold on to my faith because I was losing it bit by bit. It wasn’t until I chose to surrender my situation to God and trust Him in spite of me not being able to see His hand at work that a breakthrough in my spirit came. I was not as strong as I thought I was. My condition exposed the true condition of my heart. I realised that I am weak and I needed a Saviour.

I believe Christ brought up the topic of His betrayer three times because He knew all of them would never entertain the fact that they would forsake Him, let alone deny Him. Yet, they all did. It’s the same for us - we deny Christ and forsake Him every other day when we put ourselves first before Him. Or when we choose our careers, our comfort, our children, and our lifestyles ahead of Him and His calling on our lives. We are no different from the disciples!

Therefore, let us remember that we are not as strong as we think and to guard our hearts by being open to rebuke and warnings from our fellow brothers and sisters in Christ, especially our leaders. We are not as strong as we think we are! It is only when we are willing to acknowledge that we are weak and prone to wander that His strength is made perfect in us.

Reflection

• Is your posture towards God one where you acknowledge that He knows everything that you do or think in your life?
• Who is 1 person that you would like to be accountable to in your journey of faith? This person must be willing to not only encourage but also rebuke you when you stray from the straight and narrow.

Application

Without accountability for our faith, we are susceptible to fall. Make sure that there is someone in your life that you are accountable to for how you run your race of faith.