When to Let Go—Intentionally

So, if the goal is for little Johnny eventually to move out of the house and be able to function without playing video games all day or running out of money, what does he need to master this year?

And if little Susie wants more independence when she’s 18, when does she need to understand how insurance works? Credit? How to make a doctor appointment?

And if we’re preparing them to make their own decisions in their spiritual lives, do we know what they are struggling with now? How can we provide structures and habits to build on, as well as space and assistance as they explore their faith?

"That’s fine, my good servant!” the king said. “Since you have shown that you can be trusted with a small amount, you will be given ten cities to rule."

Luke 19:17 (CEV)

Growing up is a process. Too often we just let it happen, with little plan for easing back control over the child’s life. It’s difficult to give them more autonomy and responsibility. But if we don’t, we end up with college students flunking out because they didn’t go to class or working young adults drowning under car payments.

We are the ones God has chosen to teach our kids how to be adults. The temptation, and the cultural norm, is strong to be helicopter parents. But we know it’s not sustainable. Parenting takes intentionality. We have to let children experience consequences before the cost is too high. Better to fail a high school class than a college one, better still to suffer for low grades at mid-term.

So, we provide milestones for our kids. We test them with freedom and responsibility, with goals and maybe a bit of guidance, and make adjustments for their temperament, motivation, and character.

Letting out slack for young people requires a whole lot of trust—in them and in the Lord. We build trust by exercising trust. And this requires both wisdom and grace. We can learn from how our heavenly Father teaches us, giving us responsibility for a few things, then more as we prove capable. As Jesus shows us in his parable in Luke 19, we are given stewardship over his things, and we will be rewarded for how we care for them. All this circles back to our holding tight to God and listening to his instruction. What an incredible blessing to have access to his Word!

Pray

Abba-Daddy, I need wisdom again! Thank you for your open-door policy and generous offering of knowledge and grace. Please show me how to teach these children to be adults. Help us build trust with each other, and you. Amen.

Time to Talk

Conversation starter for kids: Provides you with questions and prompts to facilitate a time of applicable discussion with children to lead them towards knowing God and His Word more deeply.

Question(s): Where would you like more freedom? What new task do you want to try? What new responsibility will you take?

Keep It Going

Related passages: These additional verses will help parents expand Scriptural knowledge and place on the armor of God’s Word to tackle each day. Swipe to read the passages today.

Proverbs 2:1-8

James 1:5