5 Days To Freedom From Angry ParentingExemplo

 DAY FOUR: MY PARENTS WERE ANGRY, AND NOW I AM TOO

I didn’t start losing my temper with my kids until my second son was born. I began reaching a breaking point over little things, started raising my voice, and often felt a deep sense of dread that I was becoming the mom I swore I would never be. I was carrying on the legacy of anger that had preceded me.  

The Holy Spirit began to convict me. It took longer than I wanted it to, but I committed to repenting from my sin of pride, being quick to anger, and speaking harshly to my boys. I renewed my commitment to reading my Bible every day and spending time in prayer. Often, my only prayer was,“Lord, I need you to stop my tongue from saying any word that does not build up those who listen. I don’t want to hurt my kids or be an angry mom. Change my heart and make me a gentle mother! Father, forgive me and give me the wisdom I need to glorify You. Break the generational chains!”

More and more, I felt the Holy Spirit compelling me to take a deep breath, speak slowly and carefully to my children, and seek out ways to bless them with my words throughout the day. When my sons napped, I settled into my comfy chair and prioritized my spiritual growth as I read my Bible and Christian parenting books to help me deal with my sin issues. I started apologizing to my boys and studying what it meant to be humble. Instead of focusing on the challenges in my life, I kept a gratitude journal, writing down all the big and small ways that I was blessed, and choosing to have a joyful heart. I asked the Lord to transform me by praying Psalm 51:10-12: “Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me. Cast me not away from Your presence, and take not Your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of Your salvation, and uphold me with a willing spirit.”  

And God showed up, so I shaped up.  

There was no magical overnight change. It was the slow realization that I was a new creation in Christ and that I didn’t need to work hard to be different. I simply needed to own who I already was: 

“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.” (2 Corinthians 5:17)

“I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.” (Galatians 2:20)

Recognizing that Christ lives in us and will help us break every chain or pattern of sin is a blessing I took for granted. The Holy Spirit transformation is the grace of God. It is the life-changing power of the Gospel that Wendy shared in the previous chapter. The legacy of new life in Christ is the one we get to pass on to our kids.  

No generational sin is a match for the God of all generations.  

Many parents have expressed to me their great sorrow and fear that their children will only remember them as angry, yelling moms and dads. I want us to feel conviction for our sinful anger, but I also want those of us who have confessed our sin to stop looking over our shoulders into yesterday. Don't allow the Devil to convince you that your legacy is fixed.  

Instead, dwell on how enriched your children’s lives will be to see you model overcoming sin in your own life. Dwell on how they will be blessed by witnessing what God can do in a heart that is His and with a life that is committed to doing what is right.  

That is the real legacy you will leave, and it is beautiful! 

Let’s Pray:

“Father God, when you entered my heart, I became a new creation! No matter how much my past has affected me, I know that I do not have to repeat sinful patterns. Father, you are mighty and victorious in my life! Put to death any offensive way in me and revive me! Heal my heart, Lord! God, I do not want to carry into my future any behavior, anger, bitterness, or strife from my past. Renew my heart and mind, that I may create a different kind of home-life for my child. Help me to leave a legacy of love and safety in my mothering that will carry on for many generations. Thank you for being a God of redemption and beauty! In Jesus’ name, Amen!”