Radical Wisdom: A 7-Day Journey For HusbandsSample

The Bait and Switch?

Everyone who gets married gets surprised. There are things you find out after the wedding that you didn’t know beforehand. It’s not intentional . . . it’s nobody’s fault. It just happens. 

Infatuation is partly to blame. The idea of the person gets so jacked up by emotion and hormones that you can’t see the actual person objectively. 

Here’s the thing: love isn’t a hole you fall into . . . it’s a choice you make. Mature love is fueled by commitment, tenacity, and determination more than passion, romance, and flowers. It doesn’t feel good a lot of the time. But it is good . . . and good for us.

Marriage isn’t about falling in love once and staying in love with that same woman all your life. It’s choosing to love her as she is in each stage of life, adapting your love to the woman she has become and is becoming. 

A husband’s love must mature as he and his wife mature. As Paul says in 1 Corinthians 13:11 . . .

“When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me.”

I could paraphrase that to say, “When I was a newlywed, I talked like a newlywed, I thought like a newlywed, I reasoned like a newlywed. When I matured, I put the ways of a newlywed behind me.” 

Translated: I grew up, accepted her exactly as she is, and started to love her with a rock-solid, committed, selfless kind of love that never gives up or goes away—the same kind of love Jesus has for us. 

Question: Have you matured in your love for your wife?