The ReturnSample

Becoming Available

Becoming available to God creates within us a desire to be known by God and to use our lives as an act of worship. A father in the faith said to me once, “The universe cannot contain God. But He has leaned into your breath, waiting for your invitation for Him to live in your heart. You, precious one, must be a lot bigger on the inside than you can even know.”

Cavernous. Expansive. Deep. Dense. Open. Wide. Limitless.

Who knew that somehow, within us, a throne room existed, fitting for God. This must be why nothing has ever fulfilled us that isn’t Him. This is why we are never satisfied with the shallow answers the world tries to give for things that seem deeper than anyone is willing to go.

Since I was a child I have wondered about purpose and asked, “Why?” and “What is the point?” Standing on the edge of life, with God, I know this: Return is the point. Returning to my Creator.

God has an adventure planned. For me. For you. He hasn’t taken my breath from this body yet. And He says that this is a good thing for now. When I become aware of God, I know nothing. I have no other words except “Yes, Lord,” with all my being. Everything in me says yes because His goodness is so perfect and powerful.

His love is like a black hole pulling everything into His truth, and all that comes out of my soul is yes. Songs pour from my heart. There is nothing beyond You, no one like You, nothing I want but You. All I want to do is to say yes to You always.

It wasn’t always this way. God interrupted the plan I had for my life. At one point, my plan was to die. Suicide was my intent. Back then I had no reverence for my life, my future, my potential, or life’s possibilities. God broke into that moment of barreling toward death and responded to my irreverence by loving me so tangibly that I couldn’t want to die anymore. His kindness is what leads us to true repentance.

What plans has God interrupted in your life? What was your response?