Connecting During DeploymentSample

The Proverbs 31 Couple

The “Proverbs 31 Wife” is known for providing exquisitely for her family, working tirelessly, and giving generously. She is filled with wisdom, well-respected, industrious, competent, and praiseworthy. Amazing! She must have been a military wife!

But have you thought about this remarkable woman’s husband? What do we know of him? What do we know of their marriage?

There are at least three descriptions in Proverbs 31 which speak of their marriage:

First, this couple operated in an atmosphere of trust. Verses 11-12 say, “The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain. She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life.”

Second, this couple worked together as a team. One spouse’s reputation brought honor to the other. Verse 23: “Her husband is known in the gates when he sits among the elders of the land.” And verse 31: “Give her of the fruit of her hands, and let her works praise her in the gates.”

Third, this couple expressed tenderness. This husband expressed his love and appreciation of his wife, a practice obviously modeled to his children. In verses 28-29 we read, “Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: ‘Many women have done excellently, but you surpass them all.’” 

How does a military couple today, in the midst of deployment, live out this call to trust, teamwork, and tenderness? Then, as now, we see three qualities at work in their marriage:

A strong marriage requires good communication. Then and now, that means staying connected with what is going on in each other’s lives as much as possible.

A strong marriage needs loving care—unselfish actions even when separated.

And a strong marriage calls for strong commitment. The “D Word” (divorce) should not even be in your vocabulary.

We can look to Proverbs 31 as a picture of a husband and wife in marriage, remembering that “Unless the LORD builds the house, those who build it labor in vain” (Psalm 127:1).

1. How do you praise one another during the separation of deployments?

2. Affirm your spouse for a way in which you trust him/her. Name a way in which you demonstrate teamwork in your marriage. 

Here’s a definition that will help your marriage last a lifetime. Read, “How Would You Define Love?”