Infidelity: Protecting Your Marriage, Social MediaSample

SHARING MARITAL CONCERNS WITH AN OPPOSITE-SEX FRIEND

If you’re married and involved in social media, there’s one point about which you must be absolutely clear: never share concerns about your marriage with Facebook friends of the opposite sex. This is particularly important if you feel that your marriage is struggling or that the spark may be going out of your relationship with your spouse.

“Sharing” of this kind is extremely dangerous. A recent survey of the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers revealed that Facebook has been a major factor in one out of five U. S. divorces. This statistic indicates how easy it is for a connection with an online friend to morph into an affair.

That’s especially true where marriages are already fragile. When there are difficulties at home, that’s not the time to enter into a dalliance with a member of the opposite sex, no matter how innocent it may seem. If this is your situation, you should be taking steps to build a wall around your marriage rather than exposing it to even greater threats. Author Jerry Jenkins offers some valuable insights in this regard in his book Hedges: Loving Your Marriage Enough To Protect It. This resource is available through Focus on the Family’s Online Store (http://family.christianbook.com/?p=1143702).

Bottom line: if you feel frustrated about your marriage, don’t go online and air your thoughts and feelings with an “understanding” outsider. Instead, talk to your spouse. If your relationship is foundering, it’s time to sit down together and see what can be done to remedy the situation. Come up with a plan to fan the flames of romance in your marriage. Set aside a regular date night and start spending more time together. If you have children, get a babysitter and go out to dinner. Write a love letter to your spouse or buy a gift. Be creative in the ways you show affection to each other. Dig into your shared history and rediscover what it was that brought you together in the first place. Learn what it means to love unconditionally, even during hard times and dry times. Renew your commitment to stick together through thick and thin.

If you have trouble communicating on this level, seek out a trained marriage counselor who can help you work through your issues. If you still feel a need to let someone else know what’s going on, open your heart to a spiritual mentor, a parent, a sibling, a pastor, or a close friend. But don’t make yourself vulnerable with someone for whom you might be tempted to develop romantic feelings. If you do, you’re asking for trouble.