When Life Doesn’t Match Your Dreams By Jill Eileen SmithSample

Day 4

I Can’t Forget the Betrayal 

Genesis 29 and 31

Betrayal isn’t something we just forget. Broken trust leaves us with at a deep heart wound.

When we said, “I do . . . until death parts us,” we didn’t expect the marriage to end six, thirteen, twenty-five, or forty-three years later. When we had children, we never expected that sweet child to stop loving us. As children, we never thought the parents who gave us life would abuse us.

Rachel suffered a terrible blow when her father tricked Jacob into marrying her sister Leah instead. Even if Rachel and Leah had been on good terms, Rachel would have felt like an utter failure in her culture. While she had Jacob’s undying love, the family’s deceit skewed her emotions, and her focus became a jealous bout of rivalry with Leah.

There is no mention of forgiveness in the biblical story on any level, although we can speculate that Leah and Rachel eventually became friends. Scripture also says, “If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone” (Rom. 12:18 NIV). We can’t make other people live at peace with us. We can’t make other people love us or even like us! We can’t control anyone or any circumstances. We can only control our own reactions and choices, good or bad. 

We can go from feeling wounded by the actions of others to forgiving by choice. If we have been forgiven for the wrongs we’ve committed against others—and none of us can skip that part because we are all guilty on some level—then we can also forgive. Sometimes I have to beg God over and over for grace to forgive because the memory of a betrayal still causes pain. 

I will never minimize the hurt betrayal inflicts. But I’ve also known people who have been deceived, abandoned, or betrayed turn those feelings into exactly the forgiveness of which I speak. Even if reconciliation may not be possible, Godly love from a distance can be. 

No one promises this is easy, and it’s something each person must work out for herself. But with God there is hope. God, who can calm the stormy seas, is also very capable of calming our turbulent emotions and healing our hurting pasts—if we’ll ask Him.

Lord, please help me to move beyond my woundedness to healing. Please grant me the grace to forgive so I can be free.