Challenging ConversationsSample

The Struggle to Communicate

With all the anxieties and perplexities that we wrestle with regularly, it’s no wonder we have a hard time opening up about controversial matters within the church. For far too long, we have allowed too many excuses and ineffective methods of communicating to turn us away from one another.

“I never know what to say.”

“What if I embarrass myself?”

“I don’t like it when people are mad at me.”

“I don’t want to argue.”

“That’s just your opinion/interpretation.”

“You need to be less judgmental and more open-minded.”

But it doesn’t matter what you or I think. What matters is what God has said in His Word. The fact that you are a Christian doesn’t mean that everything you believe to be correct matches the truth of God. God’s truth stands regardless of how much we believe something to be right. Moreover, just because you and I might disagree on a moral issue, that doesn’t make us mortal enemies.

Challenging conversations are a way of life. Think of them as a necessary evil. You may not like them, but sometimes you must face them if you are going to get to the truth. Or you can keep telling yourself that if you have that challenging conversation with that person in your small group, things will be too awkward afterward.

But how will you know unless you try?

You see, my friend, we tell ourselves these lies out of fear. Fear to disagree. Fear to offend. Fear of rejection. We get so worked up about what might happen that we avoid having any heart-to-heart conversations. We, members of the church, need to be willing to engage difficult conversations, to walk alongside one another and not be so entrenched in our views that we stop valuing one another. We may reject a person’s stance, but we are not called by God to reject the person.

We can’t keep allowing feuds to divide us just because we are unable to handle moral disputes. Not agreeing needs to be something we embrace, not something we attempt to erase from the church. Proverbs 15:31 NLT says, “If you listen to constructive criticism, you will be at home among the wise.”

How difficult is it for you to engage others in challenging conversations? Why is that?  What is your attitude toward another whom you believe to be wrong?