SWHW Bible Reading Plan - Year 2 January 2021Sample

January 21

Top Takeaway from Somer Phoebus:

Weak men and controlling women are some of the enemy’s most effective tools. (Yes, it’s harsh, but you can’t tell me it’s not true.)

Since the garden, it’s been understood that there is a general sin nature woven into our flesh as men and women. (Genesis 3:16-19)

Men can be passive.

Women can be controlling. 

Now to answer the questions that are probably running through some of your minds . . .

Can’t it be the other way, too, men being controlling and women being passive? Absolutely! But these are the gender specific behaviors modeled for us in Genesis so it’s worth us being aware of them. And in their extremes, both are terrible characteristics to have—no matter your gender.

Aren’t these just cultural stereotypes? Nope. In vs. 16, God points out that Eve will desire control over her husband, and then when God curses Adam, He clarifies that it is because Adam gave in to his wife instead of standing up against her and doing what God commanded him to do. So this goes way back.

It’s not fair that just because I’m a strong woman, I’m considered controlling. I agree—but that’s not the conversation here in 1 Kings 21, and you’ll see it wasn’t a female’s strength that was the issue.

Quick summary . . .

In 1 Kings 21 there’s a story of a king who did not get what he wanted, went home, whined to his wife, and then she took matters into her hands and had a man KILLED so that her husband could get what he wanted and so that their power as a royal couple would not be undermined. (Definitely go read it if you haven’t—this story has some major Real Housewives of Israel vibes.) 

There are so many things wrong here, but the part I want to point out is this clear picture of a very unhealthy marriage and the hearts of both Ahab (husband) and Jezebel (wife).

What can we learn? 

Well, for those of us that are married (or someday plan to be), we can learn that we can either be our husband’s greatest blessing or biggest burden. And the difference between the two isn’t based on how we treat him or love him, but on how much more we love God. 

In a relationship where there is trust, there is almost always opportunity to speak into hard situations and to give advice. That is hands down one of the greatest blessings of marriage . . . except when it’s not. 

Because this also means we have the opportunity to manipulate and control our spouse like no other. As women we’re natural nurturers, so we think we can make it all better if we just take the reins. And having your spouse's best interest at heart is a beautiful thing, but it’s also a dangerous thing when it supersedes God’s best interest for both of you. 

The second we as women become more concerned with our husband’s happiness, relationships, reputation, power, success, etc. than we are his heart for Jesus is the same second we become terrible listeners and dangerous advice givers. 

In the same way, the second we begin listening to our spouse (or anyone else for that matter) more than we listen to the voice of God, we become unqualified to give advice and unable to listen with the proper discernment. 

Ahab got his feelings hurt and Jezebel went to bat for him. It’s not a terrible thing. Except that the reason Ahab got his feelings hurt was because he was being a selfish baby, and the reason Jezebel went to bat for him was because she needed to control the situation and protect her husband’s power. 

We’ve got to do better as wives for the sake of our marriages, our kids, and our circles of influence. It’s no secret marriages are under attack, so we have to be aware of our sin nature and ready to fight against it. 

We have to be wives who put less energy into controlling our husbands and more energy into asking God to control us. 

We have to be strong women who rise up and lead, but surrender ALL control to God.

We need to not spend more time fighting for equality than we spend fighting for lost souls. 

And we definitely can’t let culture’s need to always be waging war between the sexes spill over into our marriages. What does culture know about a godly marriage anyway?

Listen, men aren’t weak when they’re walking in the Spirit, but Satan gets more weak when they are. And women aren’t controlling when they’re being controlled by the Spirit, thus taking every ounce of control away from Satan. 

The enemy won’t win. He doesn’t get to be in our marriages or in our homes unless we open the door for him. Shut the door in his face today by having a real conversation with your husband about the attack you're both under simply because you’re believers, and then pray for each other. Everyday, all day, and boldly! 

God, I lift up our marriages to You today! I ask You to bind Satan from them and to soften our hearts, open our ears, and close our mouths more often. I pray that You will do a work in our hearts that will overflow into our relationships. Please show us how beautiful and strong submission really is! Give us more grace for our husbands and bring to mind all the ways You have been faithful in our marriages from the beginning so we can want for more of Your faithfulness. 

Father, I also come to you begging on behalf of the women who are married to men who don’t yet know You, that You will save them. God, even today, reveal Yourself in a new way to these men and comfort the hearts of their wives living on mission every single day of their lives so that they might be an example of Your goodness in front of their husbands. God, I love You and I thank You for the gift of marriage. May our marriages please You. Amen.