A Biblical Approach to Parenting Your AthleteSample

## How Do I Sound to My Child? –Tearing down or Building up)

READY:

> “Pleasant words are a honeycomb: sweet to the taste and health to the body.”—Proverbs 16:24

SET: Sweet words bring health.

This lesson will challenge parents to dig deeper into the all-important subject of how your words sound to your athletic child.

One huge benefit of playing organized youth sports is your child will learn to be challenged---the Bible calls this “exhortation”—to pursue a course of action that they normally would not want to take on their own. Yes, your child will be pushed and stretched by their coach, teammates, and their opponents. But if your child is like most, they will not want to be challenged or exhorted by their mom or dad. This puts the athlete's parent in a conundrum that requires much wisdom and patience.

One of my daughters put every ounce of aggression and effort into any sport she played. Something inside her caused this “all out” effort—she was born with it. But, despite this intensity, there was a sensitivity to her spirit. Meaning I had to be very circumspect in what I said to her about her performance and how she might receive it. A by-product of this style of play was she placed more pressure on herself than most of her teammates. The last thing she needed was her father to put extra pressure on her. She needed affirmation and love from her father.

Some children will need extra encouragement in their sports to help them work through their lack of effort or motivation. Others, on the other hand, may need only a word of encouragement to keep them from succumbing to the self-imposed pressure with which they so naturally battle.

Here are a few tips to consider before you ask God to help you apply the Scriptures provided.

1\. Before you say anything to your athlete child about their performance, think about his or her heart. Harsh words about performance usually find their way to the heart.

2\. Ask yourself, “are my words going to build them up or tear them down?”

3\. Long term, what matters most to your child? That they are impressed with your knowledge of sports or that they gain security in knowing you care for and love them?

WORKOUT: Bible Discussion

James 3:5-6

Romans 14:19

Proverbs 12:18

1 Thessalonians 5:11

GO:

1\. What do you learn about the tongue from the Bible verses provided?

2\. How do these verses help you better build up your child as they participate in their sports?

3\. What is the main takeaway you found in this lesson?

OVERTIME: Practice Session

1\. Discuss with your spouse whether they’ve heard you use words that could be interpreted as tearing down rather than building up your child.

2\. Ask your child if you have used words that made him or her feel torn down rather than built up. Commit to your child that you will ask God to help you do better with your words.

How Do I Sound? Testimonial