Day 9: Mental Health Matters

When we think of trauma-related mental stress, we don’t often consider mothers who have endured loss. Society has nudged us to believe that miscarriage is taboo and that there are “worse” things out there, so we shouldn’t feel justified in believing we have the right to discuss our pain if that’s what we need to do. Just because it may not be real for someone else does not mean you shouldn't respect and acknowledge your loss to your fullest ability, if that's what you desire.

I hadn’t fully discovered the depths of the devastation until I had a miscarriage, let alone two. I was paralyzed by sorrow and grief. At the time of my losses, I was working at a local café, and I had days where I saw mothers and their babies walk in and had to excuse myself to the backroom so as to not ugly cry in front of them. I was angry at every friend who announced their pregnancy [which at the time, seemed to be every two seconds]. The simplest of things would set me into an utter emotional breakdown. In reality, the psychological effects of losing a child are very real, very strong, and can lead to things such as anxiety, depression, and even PTSD [Post Traumatic Stress Disorder]. Despite these psychological effects being very real and very strong, acknowledging the potential of mental illness after a miscarriage is seldom considered.

We have a God who is capable of complete restoration, and I whole-heartedly believe that will be the end result in your story, but there are several roads He has given us to get there and it is important that we take whatever unique and appropriate steps toward healing we may need to. If the unknownness of God’s timing is something you can handle right now, by all means, friend, press on. If you need to seek more immediate help at this point in your journey, there is no shame in it. In the same way God has given us foods and herbs that miraculously heal us and build up our bodies, He has also equipped people to help guide us mentally and talk us through traumatic experiences.

During this season in which you’ve been placed, act in wisdom, press heavily into Christ and embrace the merciful and loving character that God promises in His Word. God is never too busy to care for your heart and mind, and He longs to be present in your pain. Remember that this is your story and that your healing is unique to you. The steps you take may be different than someone else’s but the endgame is always the same - healing, and I can assure you there are more people out there who would be willing to listen and walk with you than you may realize.