No Words

In 2021, I experienced a crisis twin pregnancy. One of the babies was considered not viable, and I was encouraged to end her life to give her twin a better chance at surviving. We chose not to do that and trusted their lives into the Hands of the God who created them. What may be surprising to some people is that while their lives were hanging in the balance, I didn’t pray for them. Not in the way you’d think, anyway.

I imagined the words in my head. I could form the most perfectly crafted, melodic, poetic, heartfelt words. But the thought of saying them out loud made me feel sick. How could God be moved by words that didn’t even break the skin of what I was experiencing? They weren’t enough. I didn’t want to crowd the space between God and me with silly things like words. I wanted a clear path, with nothing between us besides the miracle I was hoping for.

How can you pray when you can barely breathe? What if you crawl to the feet of Jesus but can’t manage to lift your head to speak to him?

Some theologies teach that Jesus won’t turn His face toward you unless you approach Him boldly, with confidence, but that simply isn’t true. The New Testament includes many stories of Jesus healing without any declaration of faith; sometimes He healed without even being asked. I think about the woman who had been bleeding for twelve years. Twelve years of isolation, rejection, questions, seeking answers, and spending everything she had, only to get a medical diagnosis of “There’s nothing we can do.”

But then she heard about Jesus. He was her last resort. She thought, If I can just touch the hem of His robe, I’ll be healed. And that’s exactly what happened. Immediately after brushing her fingers across His robe, her bleeding stopped and she was healed.

Jesus doesn’t need our words to meet our needs. In times of suffering and heartbreak, we often don’t have the energy or spiritual strength to form words. That isn’t an obstacle for Jesus. Romans 8:26 says, “In the same way the Spirit also helps us in our weakness, because we do not know what to pray for as we should, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with inexpressible groanings” (CSB).

God doesn’t require our pithy words or clever negotiations. We don’t need to prove anything to Him. Sometimes He invites our faith. Sometimes He invites our asks. But sometimes all He wants is our reach.