The Things We Hold On To

When I’m overwhelmed, I run. I quit projects. I don’t respond to text messages. I cancel plans. When I’m emotionally exhausted and in pain, I tend to get impulsive and have to actively fight the urge to tattoo my neck or pierce something. The way I bring myself to center and protect my body from becoming a victim of my cathartic lack of impulse control is to remember the times that God has been faithful to us so that we can have faith He’ll be faithful again. I follow the map I’ve made to my “Ebenezers.”

The book of 1 Samuel recounts a story about a battle won by the Israelites that was, logistically speaking, impossible for them to win. The Philistine army was bigger and stronger, and yet, to the surprise of all parties involved, the Israelites were victorious. To honor the victory the Lord had given them, Samuel took a stone and turned it upright. He named it Ebenezer, which means “stone of help.” The stone would serve to remind them that “the Lord has helped us to this point” (1 Samuel 7:12, CSB). This was not an altar of worship but a point of reference. It was a way of telling the Israelites, “Hey, let’s not forget what God did for us here. This is how we’ll remember.” It was a physical reminder of supernatural provision and intervention.

The stones we set out to remember God’s faithfulness aren’t intended to mark times we escaped our pain, but the times God has shown Himself to us in the middle of it. He might not have stopped the injury, but He showed that He was present, that He cares, and that He is faithful to his kids. We mark the stones with blood and tears. When we visit them, we remember both what they cost us and what God did for us there.

You’d think it would be easier to remember how big and powerful God is! You’d think that if we have even one moment to mark down and remember, that should be enough to change us forever. In the heat of a victory, you might even convince yourself that you’ll never forget what God did in that moment. But as time goes on, we forget. Unless we have a map.

When we are disoriented by pain, our vision blurs and we start to see God through the lens of our circumstances. When we mark the moments when God came through, we give our future selves the opportunity to remember His faithfulness, even in our pain.