Rooting Out Relationship KillersSample

Partnership

At the center of every healthy relationship is a presupposition that we will do things together.

Marriage is a journey of togetherness and shared lives. Church is fundamentally all about relationships and community life. Friendships are wonderful because of the things we do and share together. At the core of every healthy relationship is togetherness, teamwork and shared life. In a word, they are a partnership.

But over time, people and relationships change. Initial intentions can get lost in the busyness of the developing relationship and personal agendas can shift. It becomes all too easy to simply forget that this relationship is actually a partnership and to start making independent decisions.

When this happens, it is like a small weed taking root in the fertile soil of the relationship. Once that weed called independence starts to grow, there will be trouble ahead! That’s because independence is an attitude that fundamentally works against the relationship. It takes unilateral decisions without considering their impact on the relationship and thus, slowly chokes it.

Independent attitudes in any relationship must be spotted early and addressed by doing some relationship weeding. If you see the weed in yourself, root it out. And if you see it in your partner, have the courage to sensitively talk about it while it is small. In this way you prevent little weeds becoming established plants that can undermine your relationship.

It is better, however, to never let independence take root on the first place. You do this by having a personal commitment to partnership; an attitude that works like a nutritional feed in your relationship soil. It simply means having a commitment to the bigger reason you entered the relationship in the first place, other than your personal desires.

The fact is, two people can be married, live under the same roof, share finances and a common surname but not be true partners if independence takes root. As time passes their independent choices slowly pull them apart until, one day, the bond is severed – a tragedy that could have been avoided by keeping their commitment to partnership alive.

In a healthy partnership, it is not all about “me” and it is not all about “you”. It’s not my money it is our money. These are not my children they are our children. It is our house, our car, our holiday, our church ... you get my point!

Your commitment to partnership means you will always consider the other person, because the shared goal is greater than the personal one. That’s why you are in this relationship.

So, if the weed of independence begins to spring up, pull it out fast. But more importantly, keep it at bay by feeding your relationships with a regular dose of affirming your commitment to partnership. As our reading says, “Two are better than one.” (Ecclesiastes 4:9)