Rooting Out Relationship KillersSample

Resolved

None of us like conflict but in the world of relationships, conflict is unavoidable. Our uniqueness guarantees it. We each have individual temperaments, personalities, upbringings, experiences, gifts, abilities and passions in life. Those differences give color to life and enrich our relationships, but are also what create the potential for conflict.

We don’t, therefore, aspire to never have conflict, but to manage it when it occurs. The big decision we have is not to ignore it, because ignoring conflict is a dangerous weed in any relationship soil.

How we handle conflict makes a statement about how much the relationship means to us. And if it really matters, we will be resolute about resolving it.

We also have to remember that relationships are enhanced through conflict. By working through our differences we deepen our understanding and appreciation of each other. It is a totally positive, relationship building exercise if approached properly.

Conflict resolution is a life-skill to learn and apply like a feed to the soil of your relationships. Its elements include:

Recognizing your differences. Take account of your differing personalities, approach to life and backgrounds. Affirm one another as unique expressions of God’s creative love.

Being prepared to change. The Bible says, “A man who refuses to admit his mistakes can never be successful. But if he confesses and forsakes them, he gets another chance.” (Proverbs 28:13 TLB)

Listening before you speak. Listen to one another intently. As the Bible says, “Be quick to listen and slow to speak” (James 1:19). Listen to the attitude, motivation and heart behind the words.

Laughing at yourself. Maintain a sense of humor. Don’t take yourself too seriously. Humor relieves the tension.

Being honest. Express your genuine views, heartfelt opinions and real expectations. Be honest about the good and the bad.

Speaking the truth in love. Then when you do speak, be sure your words are constructive. As God’s word exhorts us, “Speak the truth in love” (Ephesians 4:15). Be honest, yet loving to the core.

Facing the issue together. Most conflict resolutions require both parties to contribute to the solution. You must therefore face the issue together. It is not your problem, it is our problem. Tackle it together and it will strengthen your relationship.

Re-centering your relationship. Finally, step back and set the issue in its bigger context. Re-center your relationship as Christ-followers and recommit to doing things God’s way.

Let today’s devotional provoke you to take the first step towards resolving any outstanding conflict today.