Jesus' Playbook for Tackling Conflict

By Danny Saavedra

“If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them over. But if they will not listen, take one or two others along, so that ‘every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.’ If they still refuse to listen, tell it to the church; and if they refuse to listen even to the church, treat them as you would a pagan or a tax collector. Truly I tell you, whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven. Again, truly I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything they ask for, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven. For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.”—Matthew 18:15–20 (NIV)

One of my favorite Marvel movies is Captain America: Civil War. In it, Zemo, the villain, sets out to turn the avengers against one another. “I knew I couldn't kill them. More powerful men than me have tried. But if I could get them to kill each other . . .” Why? Because “an empire toppled by its enemies can rise again. But one which crumbles from within is dead forever.” There’s some powerful spiritual truth and warning in this idea, especially as we look at Jesus’ prescription for dealing with sin and conflict in the church.

Conflict resolution is hard even for believers, so imagine what it’s like for nonbelievers. But as those who have the Spirit, the church should be the shining example to the world on how to resolve conflict and make peace with one another and how to deal with wrongdoing, especially since Jesus gave us a literal step-by-step playbook!

“If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you.”

Instead of letting it fester into bitterness or sowing seeds of discord and division through complaints, gossip, or slander, Jesus instructs us to approach the person in love and express our hurt. We shouldn’t go on the attack or use accusatory language; it’s all for the purpose of a restored relationship.

“If they will not listen, take one or two others along.”

Notice how the circle of people involved only becomes wider if the offender refuses to listen. At this point, Jesus directs us to bring wise counsel to act as mediators. Why? Because “where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.” This doesn’t mean that when we’re one-on-one, or praying alone to the Lord, that Jesus isn’t there. Contextually, this is about having Spirit-filled, discerning leaders to help resolve a conflict. Wise leaders and outside voices may have insight after hearing both sides of the story that we can’t see from the inside of the issue.

“If they still refuse to listen, tell it to the church; and if they refuse to listen even to the church, treat them as you would a pagan or a tax collector.”

Sounds harsh, right? Well, remember Zemo’s plan from Captain America? “I knew I couldn't kill them . . . but if I could get them to kill each other . . .” This is Satan’s strategy against the church in this area. He can’t kill or control us because Jesus has freed us from sin, death, and Satan’s power, but he can tempt us into wreaking havoc on ourselves, our fellowship, our reputation and influence, and our witness to the world.

When we fail to deal with conflict and sin in the church, Romans 2:24 (NIV) says, “God's name is blasphemed among the Gentiles,” because of our hypocrisy and ineffectiveness. And so, we must be bold enough to address sin, conflict, and division within our church body! While removing someone from our fellowship is Jesus’ last resort, if the biblical process is followed and the wrongdoer is still unwilling and unrepentant, then for both their sakes, there must be a separation.

I know sections of Scripture like these can be hard and walking in obedience to some of the principles of Scripture can be hard, but when we press into Him and surrender to His will, plan, and power, I promise there’s no better process, way of life, or outcome!

Pause: What is Jesus showing us here about our relationship with other believers?

Practice: Sit with Jesus today for a bit and ask, “Is there anyone I need to resolve conflict with? Anyone I’ve wrong? Anyone who has wronged me?” If so, make it a point this week to reach out to them and seek to resolve the matter.

Pray: Jesus, thank You for Your Word that teaches us how to live and walk with You. Thank You for showing me how to resolve conflict and make peace in a way that honors You and benefits everyone involved. May I be quick to repent when I wrong someone, and may I be slow to anger and slow to wrath, forgiving as You forgave me. In Jesus’ name I pray. Amen.