Fully Functional Family: The Family Guide to GROW Through Dysfunction.Sample

Day 5: Community and Togetherness

Look at how good and pleasing it is when families live together as one!

-Psalms‬ ‭133:1‬ ‭CEB‬‬

We've learned a lot over the past few days. We started by discussing how dysfunction does not determine our family’s identity. Then, we agreed that we'd be better off having shared values that pointed us in the same direction. Next, we learned how love and sacrifice keep us glued together as we grow. Yesterday's devotion was about how being open and honest with each other helps build trust and “a community that reflects Christ's teachings on love and authenticity.” All of this has led to today's topic: Community and togetherness!

There are many cultures around the world where traditional roles are dynamic, adapting to the specific needs and environments of each community or tribe. The important part is that the role each member of the community fulfills creates a sense of belonging and a supportive environment from which the entire community or tribe benefits. That's called “synergy” (working together to create something greater than either of us could do alone). We can definitely learn from this!

The first step is to believe that we are better together.

‭‭Ecclesiastes‬ ‭4:9‭‬ ‭MSG‬‬ says, “It’s better to have a partner than go it alone. Share the work, share the wealth. And if one falls down, the other helps, But if there’s no one to help, tough!”The point here is clear: WE ARE BETTER TOGETHER!

Take a second to look each other in the eye and say, “We are better together.”That's called “unity.”

One of my favorite songs about this topic is the song “U-N-I-T-Y starts with U-N-I (you & I). As a perpetual Dad joker, I love a good play on words. (I normally would have used this as an opportunity to tell a dull joke… but I want to get to the point!) 😀

This song highlights the fact that each of us plays an active role in ensuring our families consistently join together for a common purpose or goal (unify).

Unity is the intangible bond developed over time from consistent, collaborative efforts. It is an agreement that our family will consistently work together towards a solution no matter the circumstance. It requires an indestructible will and relentless focus on progression and collaboration. It requires each member of the family to think less of themselves and more about the betterment of the team as a whole.

Collaboration and Togetherness.

Collaboration and togetherness require us to listen to understand instead of listening to respond, respect each others’ opinions and feelings, and be determined to work towards shared goals. This doesn’t mean we have to agree on everything. I believe respectful disagreements based on our varying perspectives create a more well-rounded and thoroughly discussed solution. The different ideas each family member brings to the table strengthen the collaborative effort. Ultimately, togetherness is all about respect and ensuring that regardless of how frustrated we are or how crazy we think a particular idea is, we maintain the spirit of working together to achieve something great.

The Bible provides the best analogy for what it looks like to work together in Romans 12:4. It says,

“In this way we are like the various parts of a human body. Each part gets its meaning from the body as a whole, not the other way around.” The point is that everyone must play their part and trust in each other's abilities and values for this to work.

Confidence and Trust.

“Pull over and ask for directions.” “Nah, I got it.” This is one of the most common conversations families have had over the years. I know we have the GPS now, but that doesn’t matter to me because I can figure it out for myself! It’s so bad that I even find myself looking for ways to prove the GLOBAL Positioning System (GPS) wrong. I emphasized “global” because I wanted to point out that this handheld computer has a perspective that spans far beyond my own; yet, I am only using it as a reference instead of a guide.

We often do the same thing to our family members. Be confident in each other’s perspective and trust in each other's integrity and abilities. On the other side, don't betray each other's trust. Instead, consistently build trust with each other by:

• Knowing what you're talking about when you speak;
• Being transparent with your thoughts, feelings, and emotions;
• Always acting with integrity (a.k.a. practice telling the truth even when it doesn't benefit you);
• Being consistent and;
• Just being YOU!

Things to look out for that destroy community

‭‭We’ll close today by looking at a few things to look out for. Proverbs‬ ‭6:16‭-‬19‬ ‭CEB lays out things that the Lord hates. What's interesting about these negative actions is that they all involve things we do that impact others, and they are the main reasons homes are divided and torn apart. Let's break it down.

1. Tell the truth! Lying only produces more lies, which makes you less trustworthy.
2. Don't attack others because you're having a bad day or because you're hurting on the inside. Find positive ways to channel that energy and discuss your feelings and emotions.
3. Mistakes will happen but don't intentionally plan to do wrong.
4. Don't spread rumors and/or lie about each other. That never ends well.
5. Don't be the one who antagonizes or consistently stirs up the mess in your home.

If you don't remember anything else, remember the golden rule found in‭‭ Matthew‬ ‭7:12‬ ‭CEB‬‬:

“Therefore, you should treat people in the same way that you want people to treat you.”

Applying that simple rule will help us maintain a strong bond in our home, which is the ultimate goal.

That strong bond is what we all need as we continue our life's journey.That's the power of community in the home! You're one loving team with one common goal: to grow together as you pursue your God-given purpose.

Prayer

Father, thank You for the community I have in my home. I'm grateful that our family can stand together and support each other through good and bad circumstances. Please help us daily to preserve the unity of the Spirit with the peace that ties us together. Thank You for my wonderful family! Amen.

Continue the discussion

1. If you were to design a family logo, what would it include? Take time to gather input from everyone and create this project together.
2. Will you make a pact that you're better together? What will you use as a daily reminder to “preserve the unity” in your home?