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Step 4: Confess to God and others

Have you ever found it hard to tell someone that you have done something wrong, what you did, and why you did it?

We know this is hard. It’s hard to say sorry, it’s hard to admit you are in the wrong or that you have been doing the wrong thing. In life, we can say things and do things that hurt people.

When it comes to porn, it’s very often the case that someone is getting hurt. They can be hurt physically, mentally, emotionally, and even spiritually. When adults in the porn industry have talked about what it is actually like, many talk about stories of mental health issues, being abused, experiencing shame, regret, even wondering if life is worth living, and much more.

Bringing everything into the light and confessing sin to trusted friends, that may have quit porn or have been through these struggles is powerful. Confessing sin is about bringing something in the darkness, into the light. Sadly, many people never confess and often live in a shame and guilt cycle, going round and round. Confession is about bringing something that caused you guilt and shame out into the open with God and sharing it with people you trust and can help you. Confession helps us heal, as it says in the book of James. Why not start today?

A bit of practical advice… When confessing our sins, we don’t need to tell everyone we’ve ever met everything we’ve ever done. It’s a good idea to pick one or two trusted friends who are also following Jesus - either people your age or maybe someone a bit further along in their faith journey than you - who are going to hear what you’re saying, listen well, not judge you and always point you towards your loving Father.

It is helpful to be specific about what we’re confessing. ‘I’ve been struggling with lust this week,’ could mean anything. ‘I watched porn for a few minutes,’ when in reality it was a couple of hours. If we confess in a way that’s fuzzy and unclear, we’re still hiding and not being real about our struggles. When we can bring the worst parts of us, that we’re most ashamed of, into the light and tell someone about it and they accept us, that’s incredibly powerful, and healing can start.

Questions: Is there something that you know you need to confess to God today? Is there something that you know you need to confess to a trusted friend today?