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Step 5: Be accountable

There is an African proverb, ‘If you want to go fast, go alone, but if you want to go far, go together.’ This proverb is about teamwork and cooperation, about being part of something that is not just about you. It is also about accountability. When we are accountable, it means we are responsible for our actions. What we do in public matters, and what we do in private does, too.

It is easy, especially when it comes to pornography, to think that it’s ok because it’s a private thing. We often make excuses to ourselves, saying, ‘Well no one knows I am watching it. It’s not hurting anyone. Everyone else is doing it.’ The excuses go on. However, we would have a BIG problem if everyone thought like this. The sad thing is that many people struggle with the addiction and habit of looking at pornography because they struggle on their own.

To be accountable is to take responsibility for your actions and it is also like saying, ‘I need help. I can’t do this alone.’ Accountability helps us to have integrity, and we need more people who are full of integrity. People who are the same person when everyone is watching and when no one is watching. Remember that when we become followers of Jesus and are filled with the Holy Spirit, we have a counselor, a guide, an advocate, and one who will lead us into all truth. Therefore, we are never alone.

You might be thinking to yourself right now, ‘Well I am accountable to God so I don’t need to tell anyone else.’ But the Bible is clear that we should love one another, pray for one another, and bear one another's burdens. Remember yesterday, when we looked at the power of confessing sin? This is a massive part of being accountable. Too many Christians know the shame and struggle of carrying burdens alone. Regarding this issue, two are better than one, and with God in the mix, who can stop you? Carry one another’s burdens. Don't go alone.

So today, if you are going alone, find someone to go with, because the journey of following Jesus is a lifelong journey.

Finally, here are some practical tips. If you are going to be accountable to someone, make sure you are both clear on:

• To whom will you be accountable (friend, older and more mature Christian in the faith, etc.)
• How often you will be accountable (weekly or monthly)
• When you will be accountable (same time, same place that you meet)
• How you will be accountable (send a weekly update via text, share when you see them, etc.)

What are the questions you want that accountable person to ask you? What feelings were you carrying that may have contributed to the last time you watched porn? Was there a situation that triggered it (e.g. I came home after a difficult school day and the house was empty)? What device did you use? What time of day was it? Whereabouts? Can you see a pattern with this?

Questions: Try to answer the questions above. Do you have an accountable relationship with someone you trust? If not, are you up for finding someone?