Built to Last: A Strong Family in Church PlantingSample

FORGIVENESS

There are two kinds of unforgiveness. There’s that of people from our past who are no longer part of our everyday lives. This kind of forgiveness can be hard fought, but upon a moment of decision, the wounds of the past can begin to heal.

Then there’s that of people in our present. Before we can even settle our spirit down from the most recent offense, they do something else that is so egregious, it feels like we’re starting all over again. This is how we get to “seventy times seven:” daily walking in forgiveness while the arrows continue to fly.

Your ministry can only grow to the capacity of your heart. Ten percent of people in any congregation believe it is their God-given duty to question everything you do. If you have a hundred people, that’s ten. If you have a thousand people, that’s a hundred. A hundred separate chances for growth and forgiveness.

If there’s one thing that can poison a pastor’s kid from loving the Church as Jesus did, it is people who hurt their families. Parents, guard carefully what you share with your children. Even as teens, they are not able to process in the same way. All they see is that you are hurt. Sometimes we can’t prevent them from experiencing pain directly and we feel so deeply for them. Even in these moments, we have to model forgiveness to our children and not become so embittered that they take on our offenses. Even amid our own pain, we must help them learn to forgive.

My parents are life-long ministry people. They’ve pastored, been leaders, and have spent over thirty years on the mission field. They have been hurt many times. Sometimes it was so devastating and drawn out that I didn’t know if they would ever recover. Watching my parents eventually walk in forgiveness and relationship with leaders who have hurt them taught me more than anything they ever could have said.

What does forgiveness look like? It’s facing difficult conversations as Jesus laid out in Matthew 18, and identifying with him in his betrayal. It’s sharing with close ministry friends or a counselor. It’s responding in love even when it isn’t fair as in Ephesians 4. It’s letting go and moving forward.