The Dangers of Gossip

Have you ever been on the receiving end of gossip? How did it make you feel?

Gossip is not just unacceptable — it's utterly destructive. The principle of covenant is about building trust, fostering genuine relationships, and working through issues with one another in love and grace. Gossip, however, works against all of these goals. It is the antithesis of covenant love and unity, and when allowed to take root, it creates division, breaks down relationships, and destroys the very fabric of church community. Proverbs 16:28 warns us that gossip "separates the best of friends”, and that’s exactly what it does: it tears down close-knit communities and breeds division.

When we are facing conflict, instead of retreating into fear or sidestepping the issue, we are called to address things head-on in a loving and humble way. Gossip happens when we avoid confrontation with the person with whom we have an issue and instead go sideways, talking about them behind their back to others.

We gossip when we feel rejected or hurt, but instead of seeking reconciliation, we spread our frustrations to a third party. We think that talking about it to someone else will make us feel better or justify our feelings, but all it does is amplify the problem and create more disunity.

The result of gossip is the breakdown of trust. Secrets are meant to be kept, not passed on. And when we gossip about another person, we are assassinating their character behind their back, often for the sake of our own validation.

In Matthew 18:15, Jesus makes it clear how we should handle conflict in the church. This is such a simple yet powerful approach to resolving issues. Instead of involving others or talking behind someone’s back, go directly to the person involved.

Gossip is not a small issue; it can tear apart the community we are all trying to build. We must make a conscious decision to honor one another by speaking the truth in love and seeking reconciliation rather than division. Let’s be a people who are quick to forgive, quick to resolve issues, and quick to go to one another directly when conflicts arise.

Reflect:

• Is gossiping something that you struggle with? Are you willing to leave that behavior behind?
• If so, how can you partner with the Holy Spirit to move on from gossip?
• Have you been avoiding having a conversation with someone about an issue? How might things be better if you were to have that conversation with them?