The Enneagram for TeensSample

What Is the Enneagram?

My Enneagram journey began when I was twenty-two years old. Over a vanilla latte salted with my tears, a friend handed me a book that had a weird word on it I had never seen before.

I had just been through a brutal breakup, and the question that prompted her gift was, “I just don’t understand him, how he left, or why I even stayed so long in a relationship I knew wasn’t good for me.”

I had no idea the information bound in that book would change my life.

I was already fascinated by sociology and why humans are the way we are. So when I read a book that revealed so much about myself and the personalities of my friends and family, I was hooked!

The Enneagram didn’t just tell me about the behaviors, strengths, and weaknesses of myself and those around me. It really focused on the “why” behind our actions, emotions, and motivations. In fact, that’s how I personally describe it: a personality assessment that explains the “why” behind your thoughts, behaviors, and actions.

As I went through the steps of grief from the breakup, I suddenly started understanding some of the miscommunication between my ex and I when we argued, why we would get so frustrated when the other person did something a certain way, and, ultimately, why it didn’t work out. Truthfully, it was the only closure I ended up needing, because it was more than closure. It was a true understanding of the thought processes and emotions behind our actions, especially mine!

Those realizations gave me my confidence back and allowed me to heal faster. I was able to love again, starting with the person in the mirror. That book wasn’t my only source of healing, of course, but it was a huge part of the puzzle.

I understood my family members better, along with my friends, peers at school, and even some teachers! I also learned more about myself than ever before. I felt so seen and understood on paper that it freaked me out! It seemed like the thoughts I believed only I had were written right in front of me.

The Enneagram was more than a list of what I was good at or gifted in. It was a description of my heartbeat: how I feel loved, how I get hurt, why I do the things I do and feel the way I feel at any given moment.

It was so enlightening in my world then and continues to be today. I believe it can do the same for you—teaching you more about yourself than you ever knew and bringing a comfort to any fears and self-doubts you‘re wrestling with. The wrestling may continue, of course, but together we will walk along the path to the healthiest version of ourselves.