Deep Waters, Deeper Love: Marriage Lessons From JonahSample

God's second call to Jonah is a great example of how God pursues us and gives us second chances. "Go to the great city of Nineveh and proclaim the message I give you." Not only did Jonah get a second chance but the people of Nineveh got a second chance. Over three days, Jonah walked the streets of Nineveh sharing the message of the impending doom that God was going to bring on their unrepentant city. Then the miracle happened and the people repented.

In marriage, this shows us the importance of not writing our spouse off just because they disappointed us or hurt us.* We follow a God of second chances. And if our spouse goes through the same process that Jonah did, there is reason to have hope of real change. Just as God approached Jonah again with the same mission, couples can offer each other new opportunities to succeed where they previously failed—whether in communication, trust-building, meeting emotional needs, or a myriad of other things that we as humans struggle with.

The Ninevites' response provides us a blueprint for genuine repentance in our marriage. Their belief led to immediate action: "A fast was proclaimed, and all of them, from the greatest to the least, put on sackcloth" (Jonah 3:5). True repentance in marriage isn't just saying "I'm sorry" but demonstrating changed behavior. It is important to note that everyone participated in the act of repentance—from the king to the common person. It shows us that reconciliation requires effort from both spouses regardless of how things began.

How did God respond to Nineveh's repentance? "He relented and did not bring on them the destruction he had threatened" (Jonah 3:10). Forgiveness in marriage should lead to the beginning of healing. As we see how God responded to the Ninevites, in the same way we need to respond to our spouse. This means not bringing up these past forgiven offenses when there are new disagreements or using them as leverage. Just as God fully relented from the planned destruction of Nineveh, forgiveness in marriage must be complete rather than partial.

*(Certainly, if there is abuse in your marriage, you must get to a safe place. It is never God's will for anyone to be abused in a marriage.)

Next Steps:

Create "Nineveh Responses". When one spouse hurts the other, respond like the Ninevites did. Acknowledge the wrong, express genuine remorse, and with God's help, take concrete action to change.

Challenge:

Practice "God Relented" statements (Jonah 3:10) after resolving conflicts: "This is completely forgiven. I won't bring it up again as a weapon or hold it against you."