Freedom Through ForgivenessSample

Forgiveness Is Not A Feeling

We can deepen our understanding of what something is by learning what it is not. Understanding what forgiveness is not will help you understand it on a deeper level. There are many misconceptions about forgiveness in the world today, and we will address some of these misconceptions over the next few days.

When we are offended by someone, our feelings are the first to react. They are right there in front of your face, saying, "That was wrong! That was painful! I can’t believe that happened to me, of all people." Every one of us has made this statement in one way or another. It's easy to think that since our feelings were the first thing we reacted with, they would be the first things we need to deal with. But it’s the last thing that comes around.

Forgiveness isn't something that comes easily or feels natural.

I have yet to meet someone who felt like forgiving someone who has wronged them. It just doesn't happen. That is one of the main reasons that it is not a feeling. If forgiveness were a feeling, nobody would be forgiving everyone. But let's look at the parable of the king and the unforgiving servant again. (Matthew 18:26-35 NLT)

As I said before, I have never met anyone who feels like forgiving someone of $245,787,321.56. Even if they are a billionaire, that is a lot of money. Did the king pity the man at first? Yes, but that didn't force his decision.

Have you ever felt sorry for someone but didn't take action? Think about the orphans you have seen on TV, the panhandler, or other people in need. If we are honest, we pity them, but we don't always help.

The feelings that you feel cannot force you to make a decision.

Feelings are useful. God created us with them, so that means they have a place in our lives. However, feelings don't force you into action.

You Can Control the Way You Feel

We fall into the trap of "I can't control how I feel." The truth is that you can.

Whatever you choose to focus on will affect your feelings.

Do you know the reason you cried while watching Titanic? Your focus was entirely on the movie from start to finish. Your attention was there, so when something sad happened with something that had your focus, your feelings were affected. You knew exactly what was going to happen at the end of Titanic, but you still cried. It's because it had your focus. If you started watching two minutes before the saddest scene, your feelings wouldn't be the same.

Even though you have decided to forgive, your pain is genuine, and the feelings that rise are a result of the pain being real. Those feelings don't determine if you have forgiven the person who hurt you or not. Once you have made that decision in your heart to forgive, it is done.

Feelings Do Not Control Actions

Remember that time when you hit the snooze button five times and wondered if you really had to go to work that day, but then you realized you had no more days left to call in? Perhaps you had an appointment that you couldn't reschedule or a deadline that was due; either way, you still went to work despite how you felt. Your actions still counted even though your feelings didn't want to do it.

The adjustment you made in your heart to forgive matters, even if you still don't feel like forgiving. Give yourself credit for pushing through your feelings. I know it wasn't easy, but it is always worth it.

Walk By Faith, Not Feelings

"So also faith, if it does not have works, is dead being by itself. But someone will say, ‘You have faith, and I have works.’ Show me your faith without works and I will show you faith by my works.” - James 2:17-18

If you focus too intently on your feelings, you will begin to doubt your decision. If you doubt it for too long, you will change your decision. Just like faith, you can have faith in your heart and some doubt in your head; you can forgive someone in your heart, but still have negative feelings that you have to deal with. The caveat in this is that you have to deal with them.

Forgiveness is activated by the actions of your decision, not by the actions of your feelings.

When you decide to forgive and act on that decision, forgiveness is working in your life, and you are no longer trapped in unforgiveness like the monkey who won’t release the bait in the trap of the hunter.