All the Hard ThingsSample

Day 4: WHEN DARKNESS DESCENDS

Letting God’s Love Light Our Way

Daylight shrank as the weak winter sun disappeared, darkness stretching deep into the morning and ushered in again early in the evening. Darkness outside me; darkness inside me. My mind twisted and clouded with the scratch of a steady stream of static, rendering it near impossible to pay attention to the words of my family, coworkers, and friends. I descended into the abyss of anxiety and depression, pulled under the surface where nothing I did could shake the sluggish shape that was me. Even when the milky light filtered through my windows when I woke, the weight of what held me down never lifted, never offered me hope as I fought to begin and get through my day.

Sludging through the hours with my brain on fire and body beyond exhaustion, I saw no way through, no beam of light come to bring a new dawn of my heart. Only a small flicker of flame reflected in a song coming on my Spotify playlist at the precise moment I needed it, or a sentence on a page of Scripture that reminded me who God was, or the kind eyes of my husband, Eric, holding me when I offered him my deepening fears of where I was headed.

But these flames turned into embers that endured, even in my darkest moments. These glimmers of God gave me enough perseverance to go on, to breathe a sigh of relief, as I collapsed into bed, that I made it through another day, and that I could hang what little, sputtering hope I had on him.

In our darkest days, the smallest speck of light can illuminate the hard-to-reach places in those of us who need a way forward.

Your word is a lamp for my feet, a light on my path.
PSALM 119:105 (NIV)

God doesn’t blaze up the entire sky before us and divulge the entire trail. But he does offer us a lantern’s length of light to let us take one step, and then another. The less that’s illuminated, the more we have a chance to lean in closer to him and match strides. Sometimes our steps are tentative, unsure whether the ground where we will place our feet will hold our weight. Sometimes we’re moving so quickly we can’t even see where we’re walking and have to trust that what we land on will keep us upright. In any case, when we look to God’s Word to find true north, another inch of light is let out in front of us.

When we need the believing power of faith, letting Scripture light our way relieves the pressure we can put on ourselves when we think we need to do the work of trusting enough so our suffering will cease. God doesn’t promise an immediate end to the pain, but he does promise that great purpose comes from it. And he promises his presence through the night.

I will praise the Lord, who counsels me; even at night my heart instructs me.
PSALM 16:7 (NIV)

Even when we’re racked with fear in the deepest part of night, whether literally as we sleep or metaphorically in a dark season of soul, the Holy Spirit is at work within us to align God’s truths to the places where we wrestle (John 16:13). We are not alone, even when we can’t make out the way and wonder whether the light will ever shine within us again.

You, Lord, keep my lamp burning; my God turns my darkness into light.
PSALM 18:28 (NIV)

God’s Word is guiding us, making a way where there is none and stabilizing our shaky hearts.

Glimpse the glimmers of God here with you, even when you can’t imagine when the dawn will come. He is here; his Word warming your heart and mind, calling you closer and emboldening you to take a step into the shadows. His light is on your path; his peace encircles and empowers you. All you need is a glimmer of light to give you grace to go on.

Reflect

How can you look for Jesus in a season of darkness?

Where have you seen him lighting your path like Psalm 119:105 says?