Already WholeSample

Self-Compassion

“Therefore, as God’s chosen ones, holy and dearly loved, put on compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience . . .” —Colossians 3:12 CSB

We are our own worst critics. We talk to ourselves using words that we wouldn’t dare speak to a random stranger, let alone our closest friends. Some of us tell ourselves we are falling behind, failing at our career or in our relationships, or aren’t good enough for a promotion or a new experience that pushes us out of our comfort zone, like a book club or a Bible study. We beat ourselves up in all manner of ways, creating a narrative that perfection is the standard. But today’s verse provides a better way.

As Paul, the writer of Colossians, explains—we are to be people of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience (Colossians 3:12). Not only can we pray to demonstrate these qualities in our relationships with others, but we can look inwardly and give ourselves the same compassion and care.

Dr. Kristin Neff, an influential psychologist, defines self-compassion this way: “Instead of mercilessly judging and criticizing yourself for various inadequacies or shortcomings, self-compassion means you are kind and understanding when confronted with your failings—after all, who ever said you were supposed to be perfect?”11 Also, when you take care of yourself, you emulate the love and grace God Himself extends to you. Remember, God created you in His image! He has never seen you as too sinful, too far gone to be loved, or too broken to be held—and He never will. Can you show yourself the same compassion?

Today, we read in verse 12 that we can “put on” compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience when we interact with others, and we can show these same loving acts to ourselves. This could start by asking God to help you notice your inner critic more, the voice that meets your actions with harsh rebuke instead of gentle love. It could mean becoming more aware of yourself through journaling, therapy, or time alone with your thoughts. Whatever the journey to greater self-compassion looks like for you, may it show you just how loved you are.

Embracing Wholeness: As someone created in God’s image, I am worthy of love. I can show myself more compassion even in my failings, knowing that I am who God says I am.