Hot & HolySample

Day 1: 1+1=2

Welcome to this 7-day journey. This week, we are going to talk honestly about dating, discernment, and devotion. Before we ever talk about who you should date, we need to talk about who you are becoming. Because here is the simple truth: healthy relationships are made up of healthy individuals. One plus one equals two. But if you are not whole, your relationship will not be either.

Many people rush into relationships hoping someone else will fix what is broken inside. But relationships do not cover your flaws. They expose them. If Jesus has not made you whole, brokenness is all you can offer another person. That is why the best time to learn how to have a successful relationship is not when you are in one. It is when you are single. Wholeness does not mean perfection. It means submission. It means letting Christ be the center of your life before asking someone else to orbit it.

Dating starts with direction. Scripture is clear: “Don’t team up with those who are unbelievers. How can righteousness be a partner with wickedness? How can light live with darkness?” (2 Corinthians 6:14-15, NLT). Faith matters because it shapes your morals long before conversations get serious. Nobody wants a weak relationship, and the strongest relationships have Christ at the center. As Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 reminds us, two are better than one, and when God is in the middle, that cord becomes strong.

But God does not just care about who you date. He cares about how you live. His ways are higher than ours: “My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts… and my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine” (Isaiah 55:8-9, NLT). A relationship done God’s way will always be more fulfilling than one driven by pressure or impulse.

Some people spend their lives looking for “the one,” waiting for God to drop someone out of the sky. But the real journey is not finding the one. It is choosing the one. That requires discernment. And discernment starts with becoming the kind of person worth choosing. Like attracts like. If you do not like what you have been attracting, maybe it is because you do not like who you have been becoming.

So, let’s talk about attraction, because yes, it matters. God designed it:

How beautiful your sandaled feet…
Your hips are jewels…
Your navel is a rounded goblet…
Your breasts are like clusters of the vine…
Your stature is like a palm tree;
I say I will climb the palm tree and take hold of its fruit.
Song of Solomon 7:1-9 (author paraphrase)

Proverbs agrees: “She is a loving deer, a graceful doe. Let her breasts satisfy you always. May you always be captivated by her love” (Proverbs 5:19, NLT). Attraction itself is not sinful, but it must be submitted. What God gives to bless us can become destructive if it pulls us toward disobedience.

When desire goes unchecked, it rarely stands alone. It is often reinforced by outside pressure telling us to move faster than wisdom allows, because culture loves to rush us with timelines. But the person is always more important than the timeline. Psalm 37 reminds us how to wait well: “Trust in the LORD, and do good. . . . Delight yourself also in the LORD, and He shall give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the LORD, trust also in Him, and He shall bring it to pass” (Psalm 37:3-5, NKJV).

Being ready to date does not mean you are flawless or finished growing. It means you are aware. Aware of your heart. Aware of your season. Aware of your need for God. So instead of asking, “Who should I date?” ask, “Who am I becoming?”

Healthy people build healthy relationships. Be healthy. Find someone healthy. Date healthy. Keep Christ at the center, because when Christ is at the core, life flows from the inside out.