Hot & HolySample

Day 3: Imago Dei:

In the movies, every dating story seems to start the same way. A nervous guy meets a protective dad. Sometimes, the dad tries to be friendly. Sometimes, he tries to be intimidating. Either way, the message is clear: this daughter matters. And if a young man will treat a girl with honor because he fears her earthly father, how much more should we treat one another with honor when we remember who our heavenly Father is?

You are not dating someone you get to change, control, or claim as yours. You are dating someone who belongs to God first. That realization changes everything. When you truly see the person in front of you as God’s child, honor stops being optional. It becomes the only appropriate response. God may have ordered your steps, but He did not transfer ownership. Biblical dating looks less like possession and more like stewardship. It is like being trusted with something precious that does not belong to you.

That perspective carries into marriage as well. Two equal people come together, not in ownership, but in partnership. A relationship is more like a loan than a transfer of property. You are entrusted with someone, and every day you repay that trust through service, care, and humility. You are not called to take from them. You are called to give them back to God as beautifully as He gave them to you.

And when we forget that they belong to Him, control tends to creep in.

Control rarely shows up announcing itself. It usually enters disguised as concern. We start monitoring who they spend time with, managing their emotions, or shaping them into who we think they should be. But love that turns into control stops being love. Relational control shrinks someone’s world. Emotional control manipulates through guilt, silence, or anger. Identity control pressures someone to become a different person. There is a fine line between wanting someone to be better and wanting them to be different.

At the root of control is insecurity. When you know your value, you do not need to dominate or be dominated. Your worth existed before your relationship began, and no person gets to redefine it. Healthy love creates space. It does not trap. Real care builds confidence, not dependence.

This is where many misunderstand Scripture.

You may hear verses like “women should remain silent in churches” (1 Corinthians 14:34, NIV), “Women are not permitted to have authority over a man” (1 Timothy 2:11, author paraphrase), and “wives submit to your husbands” (Ephesians 5:22). On the surface, these can sound degrading. But when read in context, they reveal something far more beautiful: men and women are different, yet equal in value.

From the very beginning, God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him” (Genesis 2:18, NLT). That word helper does not mean inferior. God uses the same word, ­ēzer, to describe Himself. Submission in God’s kingdom does not mean weakness. Philippians 2 reminds us that Jesus, though equal with the Father, chose humility. If Christ could submit without losing His value, then submission cannot mean inferiority. It means choosing to serve.

Which brings us to honor.

Honor always begins with humility. Pride tells us to be served. Jesus shows us how to serve. Relationships are not hard. Being a Christian is hard. Following Christ means laying down pride, choosing grace, and putting someone else before yourself. When both people live that way, relationships flourish.

This shows up in how you speak to your partner and how you speak about them. The way you treat the person you are dating reveals what you believe about God. Your tone sets the standard for everyone else. If you honor them, others will too. If you tear them down, others will follow your lead. Love defends. Love protects. Love speaks kindly both in public and in private.

Dating is more than chemistry or compatibility. It is another way we display our commitment to Christ. When we remember that people carry the image of God, honor becomes natural. You cannot say you love someone while treating them as inferior.

So ask yourself: How do you talk to the person you are dating? How do you talk about them? And how do you want them to talk about you when the relationship is over?

Because at the end of the day, the way we love God’s children is the way we love God Himself.