Good Friends Help You Grow

By Emily Moreno

“I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you. You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you so that you might go and bear fruit—fruit that will last—and so that whatever you ask in my name the Father will give you. This is my command: Love each other.”—John 15:15–17 (NIV)

Have you ever had food stuck in your teeth and gone a couple of hours chatting with people before anyone pointed it out? After the initial wave of awkwardness passes, you’re probably really glad that your friend let you know about that unfortunate piece of cilantro stuck between your teeth. In this small moment, you realize a good friend cares about you enough to protect you from further embarrassment.

I often fall into the trap of calling everyone I meet a friend, but real friendship wasn’t designed to be a superficial relationship. You may not be everyone’s best friend, but God designed you to experience an abundant life through intimate relationships with others—especially other believers. They’re more than just the people you see on Sunday or at your small group, they’re your brothers and sisters in Christ. We’re commanded to love one another, and God gifts us with a unique desire, need, and capacity for depth in relationships.

If you’ve ever sharpened a knife, you know it makes a horrible sound as it chips away the dull parts of the blade. It’s not the most pleasant experience, but at the end of the process, you have a knife that’s refreshed and ready to use. In God’s design for friendship, community fosters growth. Growth usually stems from a challenge, and a good friend will challenge you to walk with the Lord. Relationships aren’t always easy to navigate, especially intentional relationships that require uncomfortable moments of truth and reflection. Paul also talks about pursuing relationships with compassion, kindness, gentleness, and patience (Colossians 3:12).

Thankfully, God doesn’t leave us on our own to figure it all out. He sent Jesus who gave us the example of how we’re supposed to love and care for each other.Jesus was the example of perfect friendship. Throughout His ministry, Jesus displayed how to walk with others with love and truth . . . especially in difficult moments.

Challenge: In Matthew 5–7, during the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus challenges His believers to live by the Word. Good friendship challenges us to grow in our relationship with Christ and to walk with God even when it's hard.

Comfort: In John 16, Jesus comforts His disciples after telling them about His departure. He saw their pain and sadness and helped them walk through it. He also sees us in our worst moments and is the greatest comforter. Like Jesus demonstrated with His disciples, being a good friend means leading with empathy and providing comfort to our brothers and sisters in Christ, especially during their tough seasons.

Correction: In Luke 30, Jesus visits Martha and Mary. While Mary sat at Jesus’ feet, Martha became upset with her sister because she had to wait on the visitors alone. But Jesus, with perfect love, draws Martha back to what really matters. God lovingly corrects us so we can live in truth, and we can do the same in our friendships as well.

There are so many examples of Jesus living out true biblical friendships with His followers—and Jesus offers that same friendship to us now. As a follower of Christ, we can dive into intentional relationships knowing we’re living out God’s design for community and fellowship.

Pause: Take a moment to think about the people God has placed in your life. Do you have friendships that bring you closer to God?

Practice: Take five minutes to reach out to a friend you’re doing life with. Make yourself available to connect with them and ask how you can pray for them. Taking the first step to make that connection can be the beginning of a fruitful relationship.

Pray: Lord, thank You for creating me to live in community and giving me people who will encourage me in my faith. Help me live in relationships that honor You and bring You glory. Reveal to me the people you’ve placed in my life and how I can be a good friend to them. Please continue to bless my relationships so I can draw closer to You, and give me the discernment to care for others well. Fill me with Your love and Holy Spirit so I can love others rightly. Amen.