Never AloneSample

Friendships and Smashed Pumpkins

Have you ever been in a situation where you and a friend had a disagreement that led to a split between the two of you?

I have. It was terrible.

A friendship that was once filled with conversation and laughter was now shattered like a pumpkin dropped from a crane on the church parking lot (yes, I have watched a video of this, and yes, it was awesome).

But the hardest part for me was the advice I was given from an outside source:

That it might actually be my fault.

That’s uncomfortable to hear, but it’s the advice I needed to hear.

I think about Paul and Barnabas in Acts 15. Here are two men who became friends and did ministry together.

How cool is that?! I can list a few guys I would like to do ministry with.

But then, through a conversation that turned into an argument, the two split up and went their separate ways, and we never read in Scripture whether they ever connected again.

Think about it. Barnabas was the one who brought the newly-saved Paul to the disciples and vouched for his faith in Jesus. They hung out together, travelled together, and had each other’s backs.

Then, in a moment of passionate disagreement, it all collapsed and was never the same.

I have often wondered whether either man ever looked back on that incident and asked himself whether he could have done something differently.

Did they ever miss the jokes, insights, and companionship they once shared?

In Romans 12:18, Paul wrote that we are to do our best to live peaceably with one another.

I can’t help but think that maybe that lesson came from the Barnabas situation.

When it comes to our loneliness, we need to look at ourselves and ask if we have created scenarios where others don’t feel comfortable around us.

If the answer is yes, we need to do something about it.

Stop arguing about everything. Start encouraging each other. Make sure to laugh together.

My friendship is not the same, but from that experience, I have learned that I can make choices to make sure my friendships do not become smashed pumpkins in the church parking lot.

Prayer: Jesus, thank You that You see me in my loneliness. And thank You that in Your goodness You show me where I have done wrong in a friendship and what I need to fix. Forgive me for that, and help me to fix it. Amen.

Reflection: Is there a friend in your life that you need to apologize to? Reach out to them. You can’t control how they react, but you can own what is yours to own and take a step towards reconciliation.