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Found in Him

By Courtney Watkins

We all have defining moments. Those times we’re faced with a choice of how to see the world, and I remember mine so vividly. I’d been married for about four years and we were living in a small second-story apartment. My oldest daughter was just 14 months old and I had recently given birth to our second child (crazy, right?). My husband worked three jobs just to make ends meet and to complicate things even more, we only had one car. As you can imagine: small children + small apartment + financially struggling + limited adult interaction = a challenging season of life.

I felt trapped, but even more than that, I felt as if I had no purpose. I’d always worked either in ministry or a job that I felt “useful” in. I remember thinking to myself, What happened to me? Is this my lot in life forever? Will I only be wiping noses and changing diapers the rest of my life? But then came my defining moment.

As I sat folding laundry in my living room one morning, the Lord spoke so clearly to me. He asked, “If your situation never changes, will you still love Me?” That stunned me for a minute. I stopped folding the tiny baby clothes in my hands and had to seriously ponder that question. But even as I considered it, I felt something within me rise to His challenge. With tears in my eyes I said, “Yes, Jesus. I will love You even if this situation never changes. Even if I never get to do anything else, I will still choose You every day.”

Isn’t the Lord so sweet in how He speaks to us? He knows exactly what we need to hear that will heal the deepest places of our hearts. I didn’t even know I was struggling with my identity, but when He spoke those words to me, it touched that very issue. My sense of worth and value were tied up in the things I felt like I could accomplish in life when all He was wanting was for me to be found in Him.

Three months later, we moved into a three-bedroom house and were the proud owners of a second car that someone gave us because the Lord told them to. Little did I know that a simple mindset change would make way for a physical change.

So many times we think our identity is tied to the amount of influence we have. When in reality, it’s the opposite. When we truly know who we are, then our influence will be a natural out flow of that identity. He cares more about our hearts than He does about what we do for Him. At the end of the day, it’s all about how well we love Him and His people.

Prayer

Father, I put my trust and hope in You. I thank You that You love me and care more about my heart than everything else. Please root out any areas where I have put my identity in anything other than You. Help me to see myself the way You see me. I love You, Jesus! In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Memory Verse

But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light. 1 Peter 2:9 (NIV)