Home or Here?

Today's hungry prayer is prayed by Paul in Prison. He's under house-arrest in Rome and although we know that this isn't the imprisonment that leads to his martyrdom, Paul doesn't know this. In fact, after his release, it is only 5 or 6 years before he will be arrested again and executed by Nero.

Paul is talking to the Philippians about his own personal circumstances - and because Philippi is a Roman Colony (a sort of "mini-me" of Rome), I think he is anticipating that the same pressures and stresses that he is feeling in Rome will ultimately manifest in Philippi, too.

Paul has had a good "innings" of ministry. I would guess that he's somewhere in his sixties (a good age for those times and his "mileage") and he's been a Christian for about 26 years. He's completed three missionary journeys, planted numerous congregations and mentored numerous young pastors. He's stood firmly for the gospel, clarified theology and written most of the 13 letters we have from him in the New Testament. (It's probably only the letters to Timothy and Titus and possibly Colossians and Ephesians that haven't been written yet.)

Paul's dilemma is this: Does he hope to be released or does he hope to go Home to be with the Lord?

What is so beautiful is the tug-of-war that Paul describes: 

• He realizes that he will need courage to go through the doorway of death. 
• He is confident that eternal life is the ultimate prize and he longs for that. 
• But he cares more about the church than his own comfort and so he is willing to stay (even if it's in prison and facing martyrdom).

And while our passage isn't a prayer, it is obviously the result of prayer. His conclusion in the "Home or Here" debate is that he is convinced that he will remain...

So there are two beautiful "hungers" inside of Paul. The hunger to be home with the Lord and the hunger to be of service to the Lord and His people. Balancing these hungers is important: If we long for heaven too much it could become selfish denial of the needs around us. If we cling to this life too much then it means that we are too consumed with ourselves and what we are doing.

In Paul these two desires are balanced - it's the honest tug of war that makes him the man that he is.