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Goodbye Wallflower Ways

John tells us about a woman like me who had a few things wrong. We simply know her as “the Samaritan woman.” The Jews deemed Samaritans as unlawful half-breeds, but Jesus has to go through Samaria (John 4:4) to meet this unnamed woman as she comes alone to draw water from a well.

Not only is this woman not remarkable, but she’s also not even an average Christian side-sitter. Religious? Yes. But as the story unfolds, she is a nobody, with her imaginary bundle of disappointments, heartbreak, and bad theology strapped to her back.

This woman had every reason to find her place along the outskirts. She knew about rejection, exclusion, abandonment, and not being valued by those closest to her. Before the day is out, we learn she has married five times and is living with guy number six (John 4:18).

Why does a woman, worth little more than livestock in her culture, end up rejected by five happily ever after hopefuls? Five times her hopes are smashed by failure upon failure, rejection after rejection, humiliation upon humiliation.

Was she a temptress? Selfish or boring or a terrible cook? We don’t know. We can surmise that most women marry with the fairytale ending in mind. When this commitment is broken, no matter the circumstance, pain ensues. The remnants of past rejection and abandonment fuel the fear of future dismissals, building barriers. With the rejection of husband number five, the emotional walls are likely high. She might as well be the tramp. Living with man number six fits with her narrative.

Sometimes we come by our wallflower ways the hard way. We assemble our baggage and strap it on our backs through pain and hurt. You and I try to make sense of our beliefs based on what we know and have been through. Most of the time, that line of reasoning leads us down a path lacking in hope, absent of faith, and holding to general distrust.

Think about your failures that have landed in your bucket of badness. Jot them down. Remember, these elements did not keep Jesus from this sinful and insignificant woman. He will meet you where you are as well. Confess the badness. Throw the paper away. Wallflower, you are not what you have done.