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A Safe Place

Every weekend, people walk into church and feel like they are on foreign ground. They get through the service and then leave as quickly as possible to escape being embarrassed or exposed. They see the church as unsafe.

When we think of safe places, church rarely comes to mind. Perhaps your safe place is home, a relative’s house, or a favorite restaurant or bar. A safe place is usually less about the place itself, and more about the people who occupy (or who don’t occupy) that space. A safe place is one we visit to enjoy the company of people who love us for being just who we are. It is where we can let down our guard, stop playing games, and feel at peace. It is a place we are eager to get to, where we linger as long as we can, and are reluctant to leave.

Safe places are marked by grace. They are rare. They don’t happen by accident; they are built by those who have walked a path of grace and know how to call others down that same road.

For many years, church was not a safe place for me. Despite growing up in church and pastoring one, I frequently experienced shame and isolation rather than grace. I struggled to offer grace to others. Why? I was addicted to pornography. I had it all: a beautiful family and a great career. But inside, I was dying. No matter how hard I tried, prayed, and read the Bible, I couldn’t quit. My online image binges brought my marriage and ministry to the brink of destruction.

But God did an amazing work of healing in my soul. He led me into personal freedom and into a new era in my marriage. I learned to be honest with those around me. It can be okay, not to be okay. As my life transformed, so did the environments around me. My marriage, family, and church have become cultures of grace. Not perfect, mind you—I am still a flawed human being on a journey, and so are those around me. Yet, this journey has produced fruit both in and around me. I want to share this journey with you. Come and discover the fullness and richness of God’s grace in every arena of your life—personally, relationally, and in your church.