Not the Solution预览

“My family will be better off without me.”

“No one will miss me when I’m gone.”

“I have made too many bad decisions to keep going.”

“I just want the pain to stop.”

The belief, apparently, is that taking ones like ends the pain that they are experiencing while simultaneously putting everyone else in their world in a better position. There may be thoughts of relationship conflict, financial issues, embarrassment because of bad decisions, addiction, or some other life issue, followed by the conclusion that, “everything would be better if I would just go away.”

During each of the Mighty Oaks sessions we play the video testimony of wife who lost her husband to suicide. She tells the story of their marriage ups and downs which included many of the issues listed above. As she talks about the day her husband died, describing even the moment she had to identify his body, she makes the following statement:

“I would do it all again, all of the struggles and challenges, just to have him back. My husband thought that he was ending his pain and leaving me in a better position. When I had to call his parents and tell them what happened, it was in the moment that I realized

SUICIDE DOES NOT END YOUR PAIN-IT SIMPLY TRANSFERS IT TO THE ONES YOU LOVE.”

We are leaving the ones we say we love alone to pick up the pieces

Here I want to appeal specifically to the one contemplating suicide. Maybe you believe that by removing yourself the pain will end and everyone else will be better. There is hope and a path forward if you decide right now that you are going to get help, figure it out, get better, and continue to make a difference in the world. Even if you do not feel like any of those things are possible, at the very least you need to understand that the “reasons” you are giving yourself for ending your life, even though they feel true, are not true at all. The only thing that ending your life will do is transfer your pain to those left behind. Those left to spend the rest of their lives trying to figure out how to pick up the pieces to your permanent solution.

Whatever your reasons right now, they are temporary. The decision to end your life is forever.