Day 4: What is Family Identity?

Every family ends up somewhere; few end up somewhere on purpose.

So, you've explored your personal identity and recognized your integral role in shaping the overall identity and culture of your family—answer another important question!

What exactly is a family identity?

Imagine an orchestra with dozens of musicians, each playing different instruments with unique sounds. When played in harmony, it creates the most wonderful music. The key (pun intended) to this beautiful melody is that they are reading the same sheet of music, playing the same song … together.

Too often, families resemble a group of individuals sharing the same house. Each person has their own agenda, calendar, activities, and sense of control that nobody else in the family is aware of or can even speak into. They are like incredibly talented and trained musicians playing off different sheets of music, resulting in ear-shattering racket. This is the sound of most households today.

But your family can be different! Your family can have a collective family identity.

Your family identity consists of the same two factors that make up your individual identity: design and calling. However, in the context of family, the design is the unique blend of individuals that God purposefully brought together, and your family’s calling is the unique expression of its collective design.

It’s that collective identity that draws rabid fans into a sports team. Think about it! Every fan in a packed out stadium, field, or arena is an individual living their own unique life with their own unique skills and personalities. Yet, they all willingly come together to unite for something greater than themselves. Of course, when it comes to sports, it isn’t necessarily about the individual players on the team that year because those change year to year—instead, it’s about fans connecting and collectively supporting that team. It’s their chance to become part of something bigger than themselves and better because they’re all in it together.

Your family is bigger than you. It started long before you came, and will continue long after you’re gone. It has a collective culture that consists of shared values, beliefs, traditions, roles, and responsibilities. But this family, the one you’re in right now, can be better because of your active participation and support.

1. How would you currently describe your family to others?
2. In what ways have you observed your family's identity evolving over time through the diverse personalities, passions, and gifts of each family member?
3. In what ways has God purposefully brought together the individuals in your family?
4. If you were to write down 3-5 of your family's core values, what would they be?
5. Does your family live out these values everyday?