Freedom Through Forgivenessنموونە

Forgiveness Is Not Dependent On An Apology

Many people have said this statement either out loud or to themselves: "I will forgive them when they apologize."

This attitude may seem like it gives you power over the other person, but the reality is that you are actually giving the other person power over you.

When you wait for an apology to forgive, you give the person who offended you more control in your life than you give God.

This may seem hyperbolic, but I beg to differ.

"Then Peter came to him and asked, “Lord, how often should I forgive someone who sins against me? Seven times?“ "No, not seven times,” Jesus replied, “but seventy times seven!" - Matthew 18:21-22

God already told you to forgive; He said to forgive when you are offended. Let’s not try to add or take away what God is telling us. When someone offends us, we need to forgive.

Don’t allow someone else to control whether you obey God.

When you decide not to forgive until you receive an apology, you also extend the amount of time you live in the pain you feel. The healing process begins with forgiveness. Unforgiveness is choosing to continue to hold the blade that is cutting you. Just like you won’t start to heal until you let go of the blade, you won’t begin to heal until you choose to forgive.

Conditional Love

Waiting until someone apologizes is also a form of conditional love. You won’t extend the love that you have been shown through Jesus if you wait until someone apologizes to you. God didn’t wait until we said we were sorry before He sent His Son to die for us. He had Jesus go through everything that He did with no guarantee that we would receive Him in return.

What Will You Do if They Refuse to Apologize?

In many instances, people don’t think that they are wrong. Some even throw the blame back on you. If they do that, you will feel like they have two offenses to apologize for. Now you are doubly offended, doubly trapped, and in twice the pain. This is not good. This is not what God has for you.

What if that person refuses? Suppose they believe they were absolutely right in what they did and refuse to apologize. What now? Unfortunately, some people are allowing this scenario to weigh them down in life.

I’ve been in many scenarios when family members or friends refuse to admit that they were wrong in a situation. Some people will see the reasoning behind their actions (right or wrong) more than they see how their actions hurt others. Even in the seemingly obvious scenarios of abuse, people will defend their actions. In these cases, an apology may be the last thing that will happen.

Do not give the same person who hurt you more power in your life. Forgive them!

Forgiveness is not Weakness

One of the biggest lies that the enemy says to you is that you are weak if you forgive them. If you think forgiveness is not standing up for yourself, then, yes, that will make you weak. But that is not the case. Forgiveness is not letting anyone come in and out of your life as they please. Forgiveness is actually one of the strongest acts that you can do.