Freedom Through Forgivenessنموونە

Another Aspect of Forgiveness - The Pain

Yesterday we learned about the offense. The thing that was done to us. We know that there are levels to wounds. Some issues can be overcome on your own, while others require help to move forward correctly.

Ignored offenses will ALWAYS lead to more pain!

What would have happened if I hadn’t immediately gotten help for my arm? What would have happened if I tried to be tough and "play hurt"? If I had played through the pain without seeking help, I would have done more damage to my arm. It would make the road to healing even worse than what I went through.

What would happen if I never got help for it at all? My arm would likely be deformed, and it may not function properly. I could still be experiencing pain today if I didn’t stop to get the healing I care I needed. My arm wouldn't be working the way it's designed to. And to heal, I would have to rebreak it and let it heal properly, so that I can use it as God intended.

When you don't address the severe offenses in your life, the pain you feel will worsen the longer you ignore them.

There is nothing noble or strong about "playing hurt" when it comes to the severe offenses in life. Many people overlook significant offenses and focus on minor ones, as they are easier to address. Most people don’t like to deal with pain, but pain is a necessity in this life.

The Pain

God designed your body to feel pain. It is how you know that something is wrong. I would not have known that my arm was broken unless I felt the pain of the fracture. It was my body's way of saying, "Hey, you have something wrong over here." This doesn't only apply to you physically, but also emotionally.

Many spouses are dealing with their husbands' or wives' issues that they had no part in. In many cases, it takes counseling both as an individual and as a couple to make it through those tough seasons.

The pain we feel may not be our fault, but it is our responsibility to deal with it.

When we choose not to forgive, we are reinforcing the pain we are already experiencing. You don't have to hold on to the pain you feel. I am not saying to ignore it; I am saying that you can let it go.

Let Go of The Knife

One of my favorite movies as a kid was Rambo: First Blood Part 2. Sylvester Stallone played a heroic soldier who did whatever it took to accomplish the mission. In that movie, Rambo used a 14-inch Bowie knife. It was huge, and when he used it, that knife caused a lot of damage. The relationship between pain and forgiveness is like holding a knife by the blade.

A knife by itself is useful. The blade of a knife is the most crucial part. That's what you need to cut and carve. Rambo didn't kill his enemies by stabbing them with the handle. The knife is useful only when used correctly. The proper use of a knife is to hold it by its handle, not its blade.

When we choose not to forgive, it is like holding that big knife by the blade. We are inflicting pain on ourselves because we are not using the tool properly. When used properly, the knife is handy in our lives, but when we don't use it properly, it will cause us pain, leave scars, and can eventually do some real damage, including death.

When you hold on to the pain that you feel, you will create more pain and add that to the pain that already exists. Pain is there to alert you that something isn’t right. Pain is not supposed to be the thing that gets all the attention and is nurtured like it’s your pet.

The decision to forgive is like letting go of the blade. It is only when you let go of the thing that adds to your pain that you will begin the healing process.

The decision is simple, but that does not necessarily make it easy.

When feelings of pain and revenge arise, we are tempted to return to what is comfortable for us. People are drawn to what they are comfortable with, even though it is killing them.

You can let go of the knife and never pick it up again. Resisting that urge will take strength.

Strength is required to hold on to your decision to forgive.

Too many times, we get it backward; we hold on to the pain and let go of our decision to forgive.

Hold on to the decision to forgive and release the pain. When you release the pain, it makes room for God to come in and provide healing.