The Single Life and the Good Life

By Samy Rodriguez

“For the grace of God has appeared that offers salvation to all people. It teaches us to say ‘No’ to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age, while we wait for the blessed hope—the appearing of the glory of our great God and Savior, Jesus Christ, who gave himself for us to redeem us from all wickedness and to purify for himself a people that are his very own, eager to do what is good.”—Titus 2:11–14 (NIV)

We’re all in search of the good life.

The world tells single people, “Live it up! Have fun! Do whatever makes your body feel good, and be with whoever you want to be with!” This narrative is misleading and empty. You’ll follow it to pleasure, but walk away empty. Your sexuality wasn’t created to be a consumer product. When you mistrust God’s design for sex as a gift within marriage, it’s like a fire outside of a fireplace. Outside of the boundaries it was made for, it becomes destructive and dangerous.

On the other hand, people in the church often tell singles, “How are you still single? Put yourself out there!” But they also say, “Don’t worry, the right one will come along when you’re not looking. You’d be a great husband or wife.” While these comments can be well-intentioned, the problem is they tend to make marriage a “next level” of faith or a superior status in life, when that’s not biblical at all.

Marriage is a gift, just like singleness is a gift. While it may be frustrating to hear this, coming from a single person myself who’s heard this for years, there’s truth in this statement. The unique gift of singleness is the freedom to individually discover who God has made you to be as His child. You can adventure with Jesus and say yes to opportunities to serve, grow, and learn as He leads you. While that beauty may be easily forgotten, mainly by the constant comparison and “the-grass-is-greener” mentality that poisons all of our minds, the gift is real. It’s a gift you’ll miss if you don’t admire and embrace it.

Ultimately, both singleness and marriage are simply modes in which we get to live out our God-given purpose. If we believe God is our good and true Creator, then we must believe abundant life comes from obeying Him. So what did the Creator make us for?

·God made us to image Him (Genesis 1:26–27; 2 Corinthians 3:18; 1 John 3:1–3).

·God made us to worship Him (Isaiah 43:7; Matthew 22:37–38; John 4:23–24).

·God made us to enjoy Him and His creation (Psalm 16:11; Ecclesiastes 3:12–13; John 10:10).

As the verses in today’s passage say above, Jesus redeemed us from wickedness to purify us for Himself, so we could do good and actually live in obedience, worship, and relationship with God. Singleness doesn’t prevent us from experiencing the good life God created us to live!

For the single person who desires marriage, God sees you. You can long for something, while still choosing contentment and gratitude. You can be honest with God, persistent in prayer, and intentional with dating, all at the same time. Just remember, you were made for God. Your deepest longings and affections will only be satisfied in Him—and He’s worthy of your trust, your worship, your surrender, and your love.

For the single person who’s mourning the loss of a relationship, God sees you. He knows the grief of losing someone you love. He came to earth to experience that for you, but also to give you an eternal hope that will sustain you. Come to Him in all your pain and questions, and let Him comfort you. Let Him remind you of how He’s always been the One who will never change, never fail, and never leave.

For the single person who feels alone, God sees you. He wants you to experience His abundant life, which comes from trusting Him and walking in an intimate relationship with Him and others. Singles belong in the family of God, too. Your relationship status doesn’t disqualify you from being in relationship with Your Creator and His family.

For everyone who’s chosen to follow Jesus, your mission and God-given purpose are the same. Reflect Him, be transformed by Him, make disciples of Him, and worship and enjoy Him forever.

Pause: Have I been living with misconceptions of what singleness means? What truths do I need to root in my heart so I can view the single life equally as good as any other mode of living?

Practice: If you’re single, take time today or this week to have fun 1:1 time with God. Whether it’s grabbing lunch or coffee, going on a prayer walk, or taking a drive with no agenda besides talking to and worshiping God, enjoy the gift of singleness. If you’re not single, consider how you can pray for single friends to live life fully with Jesus, right where they’re at.

Pray: Father God, thank You for creating us all with the same purpose and intentionality. The life You offer us is full of joy, peace, love, and opportunities to live on mission for You wherever we’re at, regardless of our relationship status. In Your greatness, You actually allow our relationship status to be useful in serving You. May those of us who are single continue to trust You, worship You, obey You, and be formed by You in every adventure. May those who aren’t single continue to live this way in their relationship as well. And may both single and married people within Your church truly be a unified, welcoming, and supportive family who do life together. Amen.