My Child’s Different: Support for the Ups & DownsSample

Using Your Words 

Sometimes you just want to yell, scream, and cry (maybe all at the same time). And other times, you can’t believe how blessed you are and can’t thank God enough for what He’s given you and where He’s brought you and your family. 

In both scenarios, it may be hard to find the right words for the situation. How do I appropriately ask for the help our family needs? How do I help my child to be included and accepted? How do I keep my patience and show grace to this person and their “advice” I never asked for? Or, sometimes, things are going really well, and you wonder, How can I share what I’ve learned with others who might be helped by my story? How can I thank God and my community for the way they show up for me and my family? 

Here are three ways you can speak up in either situation.

1. Ask for help and for advice. Feelings, thoughts, highs, and lows should shared with trusted friends, family, mentors, counselors, therapists, doctors, or other wise people. It’s not always easy to reach out, but sometimes we all need advice. We all need a shoulder, and we all need help. You just have to find your people. Join a Facebook group. Start a group at your church that meets or just texts each other. Make friends. Life is better together because we weren’t created to go it alone. 

2. Be an advocate for your child and family. So, the school called again and doesn’t seem to be sticking to your child’s individualized plan. You called the theater and asked about accessibility options for your deaf child and they tell you about wheelchair ramps. Come again? Your child’s aid doesn’t show this week and the church doesn’t have a back-up plan. 

It would be easy and even reasonable to lose it—your temper, patience, or mind. But this is a chance for you to calmly and graciously become an advocate for your child and your family. Breathe. Take a moment to compose yourself. Respond. Advocate. Regroup, and advocate again whenever needed. 

3. Speak life. Your story, your child’s story, your family’s story–they’re all beautiful and important. They may each come with their own array of emotions, trials, and triumphs, and they may each challenge you and stretch you day to day and from moment to moment. 

But don’t forget to find the beauty and document the accomplishments and milestones you all achieve together. 

You know the journaling you’ve been doing throughout this Bible Plan? Keep it going. Write down all the ways you grow as a parent. Write down the milestones you all reach. Write the different ways people show you and your family kindness both big and small. Write your feelings. Write the beautiful. Someday, you’ll be so grateful you did. It will help you remember the highs when you’re in a season of lows. It will remind you that summer is coming even when it’s icy all around. And, it will make it so much easier for you to share the ways you’ve experienced God’s faithfulness and goodness with those who need the encouragement.

Thank you for letting those of us who have written this Bible Plan into your life. We still don’t know where we’ve caught you in your specific journey as a parent of a child who is different or disabled, but we’re honored you let us into your life, home, and heart. Your call is still not one of the easiest, but it’s definitely one of the most rewarding. We’re praying for your peace, comfort, and resilience as you continue to enjoy and cherish every moment you have in the unexpectedly beautiful place God’s asked you to walk. 

Journal: Look back at your first journal entry. Did God meet you where you needed Him to? Or did He meet you in a place you didn’t even know you so profoundly needed His presence? Either way, thank Him. 

More on living a godly life of advocacy.