What Do You Think It Takes to Have a Great Marriage?

I’ve been working with married couples since 2001. Despite my enthusiasm and optimism for all marriages, there were some consistent issues couples were facing that kept popping up. And no matter what I did, I just couldn’t figure them out—until a few years ago.

• Mystery #1: Why do some married people respond to marriage advice while others don’t?
• Mystery #2: Why would someone get a divorce without first seeking help?
• Mystery #3: What makes some couples thrive, some couples quit, and others just survive?

These mysteries have circled my brain for years. So I finally decided to try to solve these mysteries for myself. When I did, what I discovered convinced me I needed to write a book, Us In Mind: How Changing Your Thoughts Can Change Your Marriage.

The discoveries I made started with me asking this question: What does it take to have a great marriage?

What I discovered is that research and Scripture have had something to say to us about these mysteries all along. Are you ready for this?

When it comes to your marriage, your thoughts matter most.

And thinking is the thing most of us aren’t thinking about. We aren’t actively doing anything to direct our thoughts or change our thoughts. And while that may not sound like a big deal, it is. Because how you think about your marriage radically impacts your marriage.

So, what about you?

• What do you think about yourself?
• What do you think about your spouse?
• What do you think about your spouse’s emotions?
• What do you think about your response?
• What do you think is the purpose of your marriage?

Can you see how your thoughts determine your actions and approach? Can you see how applying Romans 12:2 to your marriage would be a game changer?

“Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will (Romans 12:2 NIV).”

Each day in this plan you will find a Think About It section to help you test and approve what God’s good, pleasing, and perfect will is for your marriage. This will give you a chance to start to become more intentional with your thoughts, and nothing could matter more to your marriage.

Think About It

• What are you hoping to get from this devotional plan?
• What about this process scares you?
• What would be a win for your marriage on the other side of this devotional plan?