Healing Family Relationships Through Boundariesಮಾದರಿ

In Mark 3, Jesus' public ministry was now in full gear. His family did not yet fully understand who Jesus was or the mission that He had been sent to accomplish. Jesus had been healing the sick, casting out demons, forgiving sins, and confronting the Pharisees. His family thought that Jesus was "out of his mind" (Mark 3:21), and they went out to "seize him" and bring him back home.

Jesus said no to his family. While Scripture does not tell us specifically, I think it would be fair to assume that Jesus' mother and brothers would not have been pleased. He made a choice and set a boundary, knowing his family might be upset. Why would Jesus do this? He loved his family. He honored his mother. He set a boundary because in this situation, his family was seeking to prevent him from obeying His Heavenly Father. His family, even with their good intentions, was, in this moment, spiritually toxic to him. Jesus chose to please God rather than man.

Many Christians today face this same challenge. Perhaps your spouse is not a believer and does not want you to attend church. What should you do? Some have told me, "I want to show love and support for my spouse. I need to put my marriage first and honor his request. I don't want him to be angry with me." While it may be true that stopping your participation in church would placate your spouse, it will not create more love and oneness in your marriage.

In fact, two serious consequences will likely come from this failed boundary. First, your spouse has succeeded in their inappropriate attempt to control your spiritual life and choices. With that success, he or she will likely seek to exert more control in additional areas of your life. Second, and more important, you have made the choice to please your spouse rather than please God.

Reflection Question: Where might you be trying to please family members at the expense of pleasing God? What boundary might you need to establish?