The Power Of BelongingExemplo

Sheep are community animals, separating one sheep out of the flock is really challenging. Chase one sheep and invariably they all bunch up without success, but by chasing the space between the chosen sheep and the herd, the gap quickly widens and the sheep becomes isolated.

In leadership, shame tends to chase the space that we already feel from others. These spaces are often the result of comparisons we have been making with leaders; that they are better communicators, more decisive, more popular, etc. The spaces can also be perceived as social isolation. And they can be created in simple differences of personality style. These, and many other small spaces in our relationship with community, are exploited by shame. It drives into the gap, providing a catastrophic narrative as to why these spaces are apparent. Shame blames the sheep for its isolation from the community so that it not only feels alone, it also feels like that isolation is appropriate. Being separated, and believing that the separation is justified, is the primary blockage to building community and finding belonging.

Choosing to live and lead with relationship as a priority is counter-instinctual. It is messy, time consuming, and exposing. And yet it is the key step to harness the power of belonging in your life. It is the place from which wisdom, insight, and joy in leadership all flow

Moses’ journey to letting go of his shadow mission of ‘self-sufficiency’ was not straightforward—one moment he seems to lead relationally and then he isolates himself again. 

In Exodus 18, his father-in-law Jethro reunited the whole family in the desert and then observed how Moses was leading. He noted in verse 14, ‘Why do you alone sit as judge, while all these people stand round you from morning till evening?’ Moses had moved away from working relationally with Aaron and the people. 

Jethro saw the impact of this isolation versus belonging and said, ‘What you are doing is not good … The work is too heavy for you; you cannot handle it alone’ (verses 17–18). Moses then made a helpful change and decided to delegate. He determined to lead relationally again, despite what his instincts had been telling him.