Spend Time with Others without Having an Agenda

Today, we live in a culture in which cynicism, suspicion, skepticism, distrust, doubt, and sarcasm are increasingly the order of the day. It starts to feel like everyone suspects that everyone else has an angle to work to steal something personal: resources, money, time, energy, or attention. That toxic attitude is contagious and easily creates a constant defensive stance even in Christ followers, often destroying even our closest relationships.

Because of my career, I often have many meetings scheduled each day, but here’s the plot twist: I have no agenda. The other person may, but I don’t. Why? Because my goal for any meeting is that I’m just working on a relationship. Can a business deal happen? Certainly. Can a service project be funded or staffed? Sure. Can something in one of my companies get created, expanded, or impacted? Absolutely. But that will be the end, not the means. That will be a by-product, not the product. That will be the result, not the goal. Here’s the cool thing: if I end up with just a good hang for an hour at a coffee shop, I feel like the meeting was successful. Because the point was furthering a relationship, making a better connection, or encouraging someone.

Serving people is what we were all put on this earth to do. Our careers just become a great way to do that. The service is the “what.” The career is the “how.” Yet isn’t it fascinating that the world teaches us that we are to work our way into the position of having everyone serve us? The concept of success has been twisted just like everything else that God intended to be good.

We can combat our culture’s success-obsessed striving by trying to reach out to as many people in our circles as possible within a thirty-day window without having an agenda. Just send a simple text, an email, or a handwritten note, depending on the circumstances and connection. Now, if we have a lot of people in our database, especially those outside our close friend circle, it can feel a bit overwhelming at first. But, for years, this has kept me proactively available to serve those with whom I have relationships.

God, thank you for the relationships you have placed in my life. Show me how I can selflessly serve the people around me.